All Journal Entries Journals
Sort By:  

ATTITUDE

Jun 01, 2009 - 4 comments

This is an article by Charles Swidoll that my roommate found to share with  people at work; I thought it would be good to share with my forum family:

                                              ATTITUDE

The longer I live, the more I realize the impact
of attitude on life.
Attitude, to me, is more important than facts,
it is more important than the past,
than education,
than money,
than circumstances,
than failures,
than success,
than what other people think
or say or do.

It is more important than appearance,
giftedness or skill.
It will make or break a company...
a church...a home...

The remarkable thing is we have a choice
every day regarding the attitude we will
embrace for that day.

We cannot change our past...
We cannot change the fact that people will
act in a certain way.
We cannnot change the inevitable.
The only thing we can do is play the one string we have,
and that is our attitude...
I am convinced that life is 10%
what happens to me
and 90% how I react to it.

And so it is with you....

                                                                                 by Charles Swindoll


My Symptoms; How They Impact My Daily Life

Apr 12, 2009 - 0 comments


My Symptoms; How They Impact My Daily Life


• Fatigue:  Almost no energy even after full night’s sleep.  Find that I need to nap; fatigue to shakiness after folding laundry, small amount of vacuuming, etc.
• Vertigo:  Flares often, causing loss of balance, nausea, feeling of spinning or the earth moving beneath me.
• Light-headedness:  Daily problem; I often run into things, misjudge distance from things and knock things over, bend to pick something up and lose my balance or hit my head on something, much more.
• Impaired mental clarity:  Have difficulty thinking clearly, remembering what I need to do even with a list. Forget conversations, have difficulty understanding what people are saying when there is much background noise, for example, wrote down wrong time for PT appointment while scheduling it.
• Tremors: Adds to my dropping and knocking things over, difficulty preparing food, personal hygiene.


All of the above adversely affect my every-day life.  With the help of Provigil, I am able to drive, do some shopping, go to physical therapy and doctor’s appointments.  It improves my focus, energy, and stamina to a certain extent.

Without it, I have difficulty preparing food, doing simple chores, keeping organized; I choose not to drive on days when my symptoms are at their worst.   It is too expensive to afford and my insurance will not cover it.

Ritalin increases my tremors, causes multiple facial tics, increases my (benign) cardiac arrhythmias, causes irritability, and second dose doesn’t help at all.  Cardiologist said it is not a good medication for me.

During a flare of neurological symptoms, even Provigil is not very effective.  There are often more symptoms to deal with, as discussed in my Timeline.


What I've lost due to health issues

May 14, 2008 - 2 comments



I used to climb mountains; eight in one summer, then as often as I could after that.  Shasta, South Sister twice, Mt St. Helens twice, Mt. Thielsen, Bailey, Bachelor, climbed on Hood, Lassen, I can't remember them all until I get out my pictures and then I can smell the crisp clean air and taste the glacial meltwater.

I have overcome many challenges in my life.  I fought my way from obesity not once, but twice.  The most recent battle began in 1999 and was a very healthy experience, despite obstacles.  I learned to cook healthy meals and love to eat them in moderation.  I lost more than 100 pounds and kept it off for several years, until a few pounds crept on here and there.  It wasn't until early this year that I added another 25 pounds afer herniating a disc, having weeks of bad reaction to an epidural, and then the tremors and fatigue.

I took great pride in the changes I wrought in myself.  I continued eating well and exercising, switching modes of exercise when one became too painful.  I took pain management classes, relaxation classes; I am not a quitter.

I have a best friend that likes to travel, and she takes me with her on marvelous adventures.  I've been to Maui twice, Puerto Vallarta, Los Cabos, Rosarita Beach, Palm Springs, numerous trips to Las Vegas,  a week in Park City Utah, to Seatttle and Sacramento for WNBA games, to her daughter's in Danville to help babysit her three grandsons.  Everywhere we went, I walked, hiked, swam, joined in water exercise classes, looked for beads for my jewelry making.

I'm on disability, but I was starting to make some money selling the jewelry I make.  It was so wonderful to have an outlet for my creativity and to dream of selling my creations at craft fairs and holiday bazaars; maybe someday being able to once again earn a living.

Neck, back and nerve pain interfered, but life was still good, and I loved having the strength to overcome whatever challenges came my way and plan future outings.

Then the dizziness and fatigue got bad, and I had to cancel a trip to Newport, then one to Las Vegas, then a babysitting trip.  I kept dragging myself to the pool, then herniated the disc while taking my cat to the vet.  I sought help, and when things calmed down, went back to the pool, made jewelry, cooked wonderful vegetarian meals.

Then came the morning when I woke up with my head and hands shaking, then my trunk, then my legs wouldn't work quite right, and the nasty occipital headache, floaters in my right eye.  I fell.  I kept thinking it would get better, but I was so tired I could hardly do anything.  By the time I got to a neurologist, the worst symptoms had calmed  down.

I still had trouble giving myself my allergy shots, filling my cat's medicine capsules, and forget about making jewelry.  My hands don't behave properly; I drop things, I spill things, I toss things.  

My friend sent me to Palm Springs for a week to get over my fatigue.  I was good for a few hours in the morning, then I stayed in my air conditioned condo.  I went to one aqua class.  I found the Living Desert and Palm Canyon and did some hiking, resting a lot, carrying water with me.  I made simple delicious healthy meals.  I was still fatigued.

I went along with her for a conference in Las Vegas, and had little energy, but pushed myself to do things and recorded a lot of steps on my pedometer.  I got so tired it was hard to walk.  Luckily my friend understands, having her own back and knee issues.  We did manage one good day in the Valley of Fire State Park, with a case of water and a picnic lunch and two cameras.

My radiculopathy is flaring up, my feet hurt when I walk, and I never feel rested.  My tremors came back with a vengence on May 11.

I have a trip to Phoenix with a group of friends planned for this weekend, to see the WNBA season opener for last year's champions.  I'm concerned about my stamina, but I will enjoy my life.

I have several trips planned for this summer to Seattle and Sacramento for WNBA games.  January 1, 2009 I'm flying to Maui for two weeks.  I would like to be as healthy as possible to enjoy all the fun things I've so enjoyed in the past.

I need to have a hip labral tear repaired, and I am used to doing all the neccessary rehab exercises after surgery.  I want to reduce my pain level without use of too many medications that fog my mind, or injections that eventually will harm my body.  I should look into Euflexxa injections in my knees; with the large chondral defect, grade 3 and 4 chondromalacia, and torn meniscus in each knee, I could use some cushion again.  I'm putting off any more surgery in them until they need replacements.

I would love to see my friends in my water aerobics class.  I have missed many weeks due to dizziness and fatigue making me realize I shouldn't drive.  The silver lining there is I don't have to fill my gas tank very often!  

I am determined to make the most of my life.  I will face any challenge and do my best to overcome it or accept it and accept change.  Life is good and is constantly evolving.  I don't want to go back to who I was; I want to go forward to who I can be.