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Doing so much better!

Feb 09, 2009 - 0 comments
Tags:

pills

,

addiction recovery tracker

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talking

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norco addiction



So, today is Monday, and I have decided to look at Mondays as if they were Fridays...in a positive way.  I started on the 3 pill a day dose yesterday, and although the kids and I were at home all day bored out of our skulls, I didn't have any cravings!  I see that talking about my addiction to anyone that will listen helps, and after the first 7 days of crying incessantly, the panic attacks are finally subsiding.  I am only having to take 1 Ativan at night, which is normal for me.  I feel like life is a beautiful thing, and I was wasting the last 5 years on being on some sort of painkiller for the day instead of getting out and enjoying myself.  I notice that neighbors and friends are commenting on how good I look , which in turn makes me want to take my daily shower and put on a little makeup.  Through the whole addiction process, I didn't realize how much negative I was telling myself, and how much I really didn't like myself.

So here's to a new week, taking it one day at a time!

Addiction Recovery Tracker

Doing so much better!

Feb 09, 2009 - 0 comments
Tags:

pills

,

addiction recovery tracker

,

talking

,

norco addiction



So, today is Monday, and I have decided to look at Mondays as if they were Fridays...in a positive way.  I started on the 3 pill a day dose yesterday, and although the kids and I were at home all day bored out of our skulls, I didn't have any cravings!  I see that talking about my addiction to anyone that will listen helps, and after the first 7 days of crying incessantly, the panic attacks are finally subsiding.  I am only having to take 1 Ativan at night, which is normal for me.  I feel like life is a beautiful thing, and I was wasting the last 5 years on being on some sort of painkiller for the day instead of getting out and enjoying myself.  I notice that neighbors and friends are commenting on how good I look , which in turn makes me want to take my daily shower and put on a little makeup.  Through the whole addiction process, I didn't realize how much negative I was telling myself, and how much I really didn't like myself.

So here's to a new week, taking it one day at a time!

Addiction Recovery Tracker

On Tapering

Feb 08, 2009 - 0 comments
Tags:

tapering

,

norco

,

vicodin taper

,

Pain



I have to say that tapering with vicodin to get off the Norco has really been the best way so far to get off of these stupid pills! I have to admit that the first week was pure horror, but in the middle of week 2 on 4 pills per day, I felt better, had more energy, etc. I really got what others on this site say about how you will feel better.

Now, mind you, I do have a bad back with bad pain, and get migraines....BUT....I am working with my doctor, and feel that if the pain is not excruciating, then I don't need opiates.  They were controlling me, others around me have commented on how good I look, including my children.  We are having a genuine laugh and friends have started to come over again.   And this is only in two weeks! I know that life with get stressful and I am sure I will have more trauma, yet I know that opiates are not a way to escape, they are just a band aid for life, and sooner or later we have to face the stuff.  I really do feel I have the strength to do this, I do have some trouble when home alone(my mom was holding my pills, but was giving me three days worth at a time so I was left to my own devices).
I did steal from myself in the beginning, but I made myself suffer until it was time for the next dose.

I guess I am ready to live my life again, that is the key.

For me, anyway.

So, today I start 3 pills per day for two weeks!!!  I am truly breaking free!!!!

wow...

Jan 28, 2009 - 0 comments
Tags:

pills

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pill

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child

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addiction recovery tracker

,

yoga

,

Vicodin



I am feeling better, except for the fact that at Day 4 when I felt like a truck had hit me more than once, I went to see my doctor.  She then had me start a taper dose of vicodin(my drug of choice is Norco, but just the same).  I really wish I would have just said no to that and today would be a better one.

Now I feel again like this process will take so much longer, and as most addicts, I want results and I want them NOW.
But, I will do this the healthy way...my Mom giving me my pills the day before, and me taking two in the morning and two at night, and Yes I have wanted to find any way possible to get more and cheat.
That is not an option for me, though, and maybe this way is the best so I can learn what to do during those times when I would normally grab a pill to deal.  I want to find an NA meeting and try that, because I know I am powerless over these pills.  I am a single parent of two children that need me.  I do not want to be that Mom in 5 years that we all see on Intervention falling down passed out while her chiuldren cry in the corner.  So this habit has to stop here and now.

I am going to do some Yoga today, and take a hot bath, watch a movie.

I need to find a job, yet the motivation just isn't there.

I hope this "blah" feeling goes away soon.

Addiction Recovery Tracker