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I know too much...

May 17, 2008 - 4 comments

I have come to the conclusion that I know too much for my own good. When we first miscarried 17 months ago I plunged myself into reasearching it, and I have been doing that ever since. On the positive, I am a much more knowledgable person and have a lot of information to help others. But, the negative is that I now know everything that can go wrong. I know what the warning signs are and what happens in those so-called "normal" pregnancies, so I freak when I dont fit the mold. Recently, I discovered that high beta-hcg levels are a warning sign or Down's Syndrome, so I am freaking about that.  I sometimes wish that I hadn't researched like I did, that I didnt know what I do, because I think I would have a lot less worry. I wouldnt over analyze every little thing and compare it to all that I have read, I may just be able to sit back and enjoy bein pregnant, but so far, no success with that.  

Does anyone else feel this way?

I'm so tired of this

Apr 20, 2008 - 0 comments

TTC is so exhausting and physically and mentally draining, I honestly dont know how to keep doing this. On the other hand I dont know how to stop either. I am so tired of this, spending two weeks hoping for big follicles, then two week analyzing every little symptom, then seeing yet another BFN. I'm just feeling a little down, I know that I need to be positive and believe for it and God will provide, that is just incredibly hard to maintain at times, and this is one of them for me.

Cautiously Hopeful....

Feb 28, 2008 - 0 comments

Well, I am 8 DPO today and yet again I am allowing myself to think that maybe this is it.  My temps have gone back up, by .2 degrees so they are still well within my normal post-O temperatures. So, basically I have no good reason to think I may be pregnant, just hope. Well, lets hope I dont get disappointed again!

TWW is finally here!!  

Feb 23, 2008 - 0 comments

Well I am officially in my TWW today, 3 DPO actually!  I am of course hoping that this is it, but I have a glimmer of hope at the end of the tunnel now. I have been feelig hopeless because my insurance wont pay for anything. But, I have made some good contact and have found a reasonable way to appeal. Since I was pregnant before (miscarriage) and had two D and C's to clear that up I have not been able to get pregnant. My new doctor suspects scar tissues in/around my tubes. I am going to appeal to the insurance company because if this is the case then m "infertility" was causes by the procuedures, and they should pay to repair it. Of course I hope I am pregnant now and that my tubes are not blocked. But, if I am not so lucky then at least I have something I can work on and fight for, I dont feel so hopeless now. Anyway, lets just hope that there is a little one flosting around in there right now, and I wont have to worry about any of it!