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Fuel for thought (about worry, fear and phobia)

Jun 04, 2008 - 0 comments

What is a phobia?
It is an exxagerated fear - inexplicable and illogical. They ruff up a havoc in your life. Avoiding situations that could cause you fear is ALWAYS on your mind.
Phobias are many times based on real-life frightening experiences of you or someone you have heard about. When you blow that fear out of proportion with fuel for the thoughts, it could become a phobia.

My phobia of snakes comes from two events: My mother warned me while she was still alive - her last summer - about an area we should be careful about because a neighbor had been bitten by a viper.
Two months later she passed away. The neighbor boys explained her death as being bitten by a snake.
From there, I have managed to "confirm and fuel" my fear every time I've seen pictures, heard stories, watched National Geographics and Animal Planet. Is the fear even close to rational? People who live in this area tells me it isn't. To me it was a rational fear because it could be that a snake was lurking in that grass even if I hadn't seen it!

Are everyone natural born worries? Mmm, I don't think so. If a worry has been confirmed as correct, it is easier to start worrying another time.

We can fuel the worry or we can de-fuel it.
We worry for "possible threats" and never for those things that don't pose threat to us.
Should I worry about drowning? No, because I can swim. Do I worry about having cramps in cold water? Mmm, yes, if I am in the water and know that there is a risk that I would get a cramp. Most times I don't even go into the water if I have tendency of cramps. Do I fuel the fear? Actively I chose not to fuel it.

A great psychologist once told me about a village he'd travelled a lot to, for counseling with tunnel-phobia clients. The village was placed in between two long-distant tunnels - one at 4 miles and two others on a fair distance of 3 and 2 miles.
He asked the question: Why are there so many persons in that village who have tunnel-phobia?
The answer was: Because the tunnels were possible threats!

In relation to my ophiophobia (I think that's what snake phobia is called) I have understood just more and more about it as I came to a final conclusion this year as we stand before a new summer with anxiety, nightmares and not walking to the beach because of an apple-orchard we've got to walk through...

Am I afraid of spiders? No, but they do give me a little bit of creeps if I am in the right mood-setting to follow the assosciations it could give of seeing one (thought immediately is: Yeah, I'm not afraid of those, but I am extremely weary of snakes....).

Who talks to their fear?
I do! Because with a rational dialogue with myself I can actually overcome the initial anxiety. I have found a great technique that works in ways of helping me find back to the actual trigger and change my fuel into better energy instead of worry-energy.
I would say that this is like turning your mind on the known worry-path and take the long walk back. The more often you turn around, the shorter the way back will get.

Good luck!

40-some hours left and nerving out

Jun 01, 2008 - 2 comments

My husband laughed at me this morning. He knows how the final exams take a major grip on a student. He's done a few finals too in his life, many more than me. I guess I needed that support from him much more than I thought I would.

He injured his eye Friday evening. Saturday morning it was worse, so he went to the medical office and the physician sent him on to the eye-clinic. My daughter wanted me to go along with him and take care of him... I did. That resulted in a whole day's loss of repeating localisation of injuries and assessment...

My husband has slept more or less the entire time from the visit to the clinic. Holding his eyes closed all the time makes him sleep! Isn't that normal? I guess it is. If I close my eyes I'd sleep too! It must be painful.

This morning my daughter decided that 6:50 AM was absolutely morning. Still being drained from a lot of nightduties and work, I didn't quite agree with her - and lousy mother as I allowed myself to be, I went back to bed. She's 5, going on 6. In an hour, my husband would be up and she was watching kid's TV. I hadn't got a chance to stay awake!

My husband woke up, landed on the couch in a new round of z's struggling with the pain. We had breakfast and I melted entirely down of nerves. I should have stayed home yesterday to read and repeat - and now I regret.
I can't take it back either.
Hubby started laughing when I litterarily killed the cheese in a frustration about the slicer that wasn't sharp enough (had that been a normal day I'd have went to get the sharper slicer). In full-blown anger I threw it away....
That's me being frustrated....

"But hun? When you sit there with that final assignment, you're going to know exactly what to do. Stop beating yourself up about this ok?"
I have never in my life done one final exam! That's what's bothering me. That, and a massive load of ways to approach several kinds of injuries and not being able to tell what the scenario will be that Tuesday morning.

Reading to learn? Forget it. It makes too much sense. I guess my father in law is right: It's quite good that it all makes sense! Had it not made sense, I'd have chosen the wrong education!
I've only got to try to stay on the rational side of this. Before I melt again and swear about the 40 hours that's left before I sit there with the full scenario in front of me taking it from the start. Can't do anything else than that!
The teacher I had these 10 months was satisfied with me, I got a 6 (top character) on the last assignment I did for her. In 5 subjects all together, my end character is a 5. It's the cobwebs in my mind trying to tell me I'm not going to make this.

From the example of final exam assignment I saw from 1998 - the assignment was:

You're dispatched to a premature labor, birth is standing near. The midwife is on her way there too. On the way to that scene, you're stopped on the way by panicky kids who have been playing with fireworks, and they have burn injuries - and inside the house you understand very soon that grandma is sleeping right next to an explosive source.

Not overloaded, not letting it panic me - I'll just have to write down the approach to the scenario I will get and stop worrying about a ten year old exam that's allready solved!

In the beginning it was dark....

May 22, 2008 - 2 comments

This is a Norwegian story about trolls. Not the forum trolls, but the ones that turn to stone if touched by sunlight.

In the beginning, there was Darkness. In the Darkness, Trolls are born. For ten-thousands of years, Scandinavia was covered by darkness, snow and ice. When the darkness finally let up and most of the snow and ice had melted, the Trolls were there.

They were still there as the first Norwegian man came stumbling along with all that he owned (a wife, a spear... The first Norwegians weren't so very smart). He met trolls of all kinds. Big trolls, tall trolls, regular trolls and small trolls. All of them had tails, and most of them had only eight fingers and eight toes.

As I already wrote, the first Norwegians weren't so very complicated and demanding. They were happy enough to settle down in caves, but as the trolls too lived in caves it HAD to be argues and fights. On and off, the Norwegians won but every now and then they had to give in. Soon enough, it appeared to the Norwegians that the trolls only empowered the darkness.
It is so still today. Humans rule at day, and Trolls at night, and poor trolls who are still out when the sun rises - they turn to stone and crack. If you one time come to Norway, you will see cracked unfortunate trolls everywhere, appearing as mountains.

As time came and went, the Norwegians became Vikings. Brave men - who then as now - didn't say no to a beer, our shopping abroad. I will tell more about the Vikings another time, as well as why the violin has such a whining sound and why people don't like to pay taxes and exactly what to do if you meet a Troll...

Hold on a minute... We still have Forum trolls. I think I will make a list of how to deal with a common Troll. Maybe it helps:

1. If you're smart, you can roundfold him. A troll might appear to be big and a little bit scary, but the smart one knows when the sun rises!

2. If method #1 should fail, try #3.

3. If you have an old gun from WW1 and a silver button as a bullet you could try to....

4. If method #3 should fail to be effective, you can try to throw something of steel over his head (or heads) and he will disappear. Be careful with knives though, the troll could be one of your own...

5. If 1-2-3 or 4 shouldn't work, I'm sad to say it but you might have to run until the sun shows up, because in sunlight, a troll would either explode or turn to stone if he can't hide in a mountain.

This is derived from a Norwegian book about trolls and their relatives
(Dreyer Book, Jan Bergh Eriksen)

Every now and then, people ask if there still are trolls in the world. I tell them to check around on the world wide web or take a walk in the forest nearby a dark and gloomy stormy night....

United we stand against Trolls

May 20, 2008 - 4 comments

forum trolls

"Tell me the reason, tell me your story, tell me your castle"

Today I was pretty much dumbfolded by how fast it went with Trolls on board. I realized how fresh I am at these forums when there was less than a minute between each post and non-stop new messages arrived. It took a nice message from the Mods about how it really works with bots for me to understand how weak we are as individuals in these forums. United we stand stronger!

I have 4 years online in different kinds of settings about forums. I've met liars, attention-seekers, manipulators and thieves of many kinds, but today I realized I have never met a bot before unless it has been Trivial Pursuit. We live and learn!

I am extremely sorry that you have lost your posts as older inactive posts were bumped up to the top of the board with this Dr_Logan troll. Bringing it back to chronological order could take a while, so I guess you could try to bump your question or advice back up!

Our depression forum and other forums are filled with members looking for answers to sincere questions and ailments. When the boards are bombarded with careless money-making links I hurt. I hurt for the community that has been built and I hurt for a trail of members.

No site is perfect. There are flaws. That is totally understandable. I commend the Mods and all the other CL's for working with a site that has grown so much. It is sometimes a thankless job, but I do also think there is always room for improvement. In unity.

A great "Thank you-note" goes to you all for making MedHelp what it is - and that note does also go to the ones who stand behind MH, and every single member who follows the guidelines that were agreed to when you signed up for a membership here.