All Journal Entries Journals
Sort By:  

looking for relief

Nov 05, 2012 - 0 comments

Im writing because I feel its kinda a way to get some relief. I've had some bad timed today (talking about anxiety) but I did have some very very tolerable times.

As it gets late I tend to feel worse. Its normal now and it wasn't when I was taking benzos for that short time. I just keep wishing the anxiety away and I figure one of these times it will.

I started taking a probiotic pill. I asked my mom to do me a solid and grab it for me. I've heard bottle probiotics are less effective because they are not refrigerated but beggers cant be choosers.

As tonight stays pretty rough so far ill just keep pressing through. I have been debating of I should take a Benadryl. They seem to help at times especially with sleep but I have notice some chest congestion. Its supposed to go away even if I continue to use it but damn why cant there be one thing that just works.

the nights not over so we'll just see what I go thru and what I do to help myself. This day did go by a lot faster then the past week. I hope that's a good sign.

the downs and terrifying ups

Nov 04, 2012 - 0 comments

So this morning was pretty rough, nothing I seem to do help. The more anxious I feel the more control is lost. It was indeed a very difficult morning.

I continued to have anxiety that kept trying to hog all my focus. As it became the middle of my day things seemed to get easier. I was able to have a lot of symptoms subside to a very mild annoyance. I was obviously much much more positive during that time.

After dinner tho, which is right now, is really rough. Im having all the problems I hate. I can barely tell if my heart is racing and that I try to avoid noticing. I just keep breathing in and out. What bothers me is the fighting of my muscles, arms, chest, back. Like mini spasms. Its what makes my chest hurt. Tight and sore.

Im currently laying down writting this in hopes it helps. I took a Benadryl as the last doctor I saw suggested. They do seem to help but only so much and they're definitely not a long time solution, cause they're barely a short time solution.

one day at a time is more like one hour at a time.

anxious but informed

Nov 04, 2012 - 0 comments

Just got done with the ER. It did seem as tho my bp was up and down. Waking for the ekg results caused the largest spike in bp, but for the most part it got back down.

Im obviously still anxious, but with everything looking good, better, or normal the doc said he had 0 worries of my withdrawal symptoms. If I was having them they weren't cause to many problems. Pressure headache has decreased but I've increased my anxiety slightly.

He told me to take Benadryl to help, drink lots of water and remember everything did and consistently has looked good and healthy.

Staying positive!


Nov 03, 2012 - 0 comments






My wife and I agreed to be safe. What does that mean? Going to the ER just to make sure my blood pressure isn't bad. To check to see if im going thru withdrawals of xanax after about 2 maybe 2 1/2 weeks use. I used very little and had days I didn't take any but with my pressure headache and loss of appetite, although I can eat because i know i need to, and slight spaciness maybe dizziness its what she i mean we decided was safe.

Im still dealing with anxiety from either amoxicillin and azithromycin or both. I know the z pack for sure is a culprit. Its getting better. Not by a lot but enough that i stopped taking anti anxiety meds and been able to breath thru hard times.

I cant wait until im better. I pray it be soon. It has changed my view on life and made me a more self conscious person. When i make it out of this, not if.. Gotta keep hope, when i do at least that i will appreciate.