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When Am I Ever Going To Sleep Again?

Dec 19, 2012 - 0 comments

Took two Benadryl tabs last night to help with sleep., That ususally knocks me out completely within 30-40 minutes. After three hours I finally got some rest, but it was short lived. Slept another three hours after getting up for a bit. This is exhausting! My body is feeling sore and my throat hurts and I've been sneezing a lot since this whole thing began. I am praying to be better by Christmas! The best gift ever. I am so proud of myself right now!

Almost There

Dec 17, 2012 - 0 comments

Saturday was such a busy day. I was running around for most of it, then on my feet for about 8 hours straight into the evening for a community charity event. It was a wonderful experience, one of the best days of my life. The event took a lot of my energy, as I was a contributor/participant, and I was so busy that I actually forgot to take my second scheduled dose of tramadol. As the evening progressed, and my share of the work came to a halt, my lower back was aching and I felt so fatigued. I took my dose several hours late, but that carried me through the late evening, as we socialized with some friends over drinks (I only had 2) until 11pm. I thought I'd pass out from exhaustion. LeAnn was definitely right about keeping oneself moving, moving, moving. I did that in spades! But then for the life of me I could not go down. I tossed and turned. What a nightmare. I took a Benadryl and it finally kicked in around 3:30am.

Into Sunday I was not feeling any cravings. I stayed in relaxation mode all day long. Everyone gave me my space. I became very bored in bed, but whenever I moved even slightly I felt the brain zaps going off like alarm bells. So I made myself stay low, in bed. By nightfall my body was exhausted. I am sick of Netflix and I want to smash my tv. I actually missed the commercials because of the chatter and diversion they bring.

Around 10:30 my husband came around. Actually, to his credit he had been checking in on me and bringing me the requested glasses of almond milk and plate of turkey. Also, I should add that while I've been doing this I've been taking liquid vitamins and megadoses of vitamin D, K2 and Magnesium. I don't know if that really has helped, but I am not feeling as absolutely crappy as I used to all the other times I tried (and failed!) to quit tramadol. So, note to everyone: Consider taking megavitamins!

The night was a bust. As he drifted off I became more restless. By midnight my body screamed for tramadol. My husband woke up and talked me out of the guilt and told me to take half of one pill, which I did. It felt like it was too late, or not enough. I sufferred another hour before knocking myself out with two Benadryl. Major credit goes to my husband for stroking my skin for almost an hour straight. It was the ONLY thing that brought me relief from wanting to crawl out of my skin. I think I fell asleep around 3:30 or 4am. Woke at 9:30 this morning, showered, and here I am doing this update. No pills today.

Tonight I will lead with one Benadryl at 9pm and I will just have to deal. If I go through the up all night routine again my plan is to go downstairs to the basement couch with a soft blanket and watch more dreadful tv. Another note to everybody: Have a back-up plan in place!

No zaps yesterday, Cravings Lessening

Dec 14, 2012 - 0 comments

As stupid as this sounds, just looking at the graphic on here with the birds flying out of the sun and the caption "MamaSueBee is Breaking Free" really, REALLY helps makes it feel more real that I'm quitting. Which reminds me, for the past several days I've felt loving emotions more deeply, like, if I see something beautiful and heartwarming I get butterflies in my stomach and it makes me want to cry, but out of love and happiness.

ZAPS!

Dec 11, 2012 - 0 comments
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zaps



There is no place on the chart to put brain zaps, I am going to note them in the journal. Since tapering I've experienced them, but they are few and far between and mild. They occur right before I'm about to take my next dose, obviously my body is starting to ask for the drug. Brain zaps go away!! Blech!

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