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60 days and still sober

Jan 31, 2013 - 10 comments

In all my years ON Tramadol (that would be about 14+), this is my longest time OFF.  This simple fact makes me so happy and so proud - but - something is still missing.  Physically I do feel better, have been exercising regularly for over a month now and eating much better.  These things considered, I still feel like the (physical & emotional) progress is kinda slow.  I'm still waiting for that day I can get out of bed and get going without all the aches and pains, and/or just have the motivation to do something . . . anything.  I feel as if I have "lost" something and I am in mourning.  I know it is the addiction haunting me . . . I had this same kind of feeling when I quit smoking cigarettes 9 YEARS AGO!!!  That was a 25 year/pack a day habit and I did it.  I guess it is just that when something is such a big part of your life, you feel a void when it's gone . . . ?  So with the Tramadol, all this plus the fact that it has re-wired my brain to make me think I need it in order to "live" (& what a joke that is), I guess it's just gonna take time.  So, on to day 61 and keeping the faith that someday my house will be clean again :)

Getting better . . . .

Jan 22, 2013 - 0 comments

getting better

Feeling stronger every day; still wish I had a little more energy.  Started physical therapy on my lower back today - hopefully this will help.  Considering the length of time (15years) and the high volume of pills I was taking, every new day really is a miracle!

Coming up on 50!!!

Jan 18, 2013 - 0 comments

tramadol addiction

Can't believe I am coming up on 50 days with no Tramadol!  Still having some mild physical symptoms off and on, but cannot really complain considering the fact that I battled with this drug for 12+ years.  The energy level still is not quite where it needs to be, but I WILL win this war - the future looks good!