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"The Doctor Phil Show"

Jan 25, 2009 - 0 comments








These are a series of stupid letters between my ex and I concerning a request we each got to be on "The Doctor Phil Show". I want to publish them here because I think it illustrates the way our label is used against us. I also think I did a good job to defend myself and in so doing all of us. Read in reverse order.

   RE: Dr. Phil Show‏
From:  Leta  Sent: Sat 1/24/09 2:16 PM
To:  Michael  
  What a sad case you make - I don't have a clue because I am bipolar then, I must be a genius because I am bipolar. BTW, there's no records of Florence Nightingale being a genius, genius.
   I could have given you a hundred names of famous people with BP. The point is it does not diminish all of one's abilities but but rather it enhanses some aspects of the thinking process. Why don't you educate yourself before you assume?
   Did your mother never teach you to not make fun of people with disabilities? Only losers have to try to tear other people down by calling their antagonist names and bringing up things that are utterly irrelevant to the subject matter.
   I am the mother of your children. But why would that ever make any difference to you?


Date: Sat, 24 Jan 2009 06:31:37 -0800
From: Mike
Subject: RE: Dr. Phil Show
To: Leta

Back to being a genius again huh? Or are you now tying yourself to famous people that had bipolar disease to show how much better you are than everyone else? Now you can say "I'm at least twice as good as anyone else".

From: Leta  Subject: RE: Dr. Phil Show
To: "Michael  Date: Friday, January 23, 2009, 9:17 PM

  Why Michael, I didn't know that you had earned a degree in psychology! Maybe that will be as useful to you as your degree in photography is. There are two sorts of mentally ill people - those that are intelligent and strong enough to see that there is a problem and want to investigate and fix it and those who either stick their fingers in their ears and refuse, despite all the obvious symptoms, to come to terms with it or are just too impaired to recognize it. Which of the latter two are you because, buddy, you have a trail a mile long of exceedingly odd behavior. This is not the first time you have tried to cancel out what I have to say by waving a diagnosis around. Did you know that Winston Churchill, Sir Isaac Newton, and Florence Nightingale were all bipolar? I have always out tested you, logically out paced you, and can run circles around you in any argument. What do you know about me taking meds? I took the same meds religiously for years and once, when we were living in WI, I became so very sick with bronchitis and stomach issues that I couldn't take them for a week which had serious repercussions that I was unaware of until then. I don't know why I bother to tell you this. If you are so sure of my mental incapacity then why in the hell have you left your poor boys here with me?
  What topic? I have only sent you the second letter but the first was no more explicit. Perhaps it's "Fathers who Abandon their Children" or "When Bad Dads Leave the Mess Behind" maybe "Men whose Values are Invisable"
  When the editor refers to "they" I can only surmise she means the entire family.


Date: Fri, 23 Jan 2009 14:28:49 -0800
From: Mike
Subject: RE: Dr. Phil Show
To: Leta

It would be interesting if you included your bipolar disorder and the borderline (or more) personality disorders. And the fact that you don't stay on your meds. Did you include these little nuggets? Or did you skew everything to make me the bad guy?
What is the topic of the show?
And who is the "they"" that are referred in the reply from the Dr Phil show? I highlighted it in blue so you can see what I'm talking about. You're welcome.

From: Leta  Subject: RE: Dr. Phil Show
To: "Michael  Date: Friday, January 23, 2009, 1:23 PM

  If I wrote Dr. Phil the truth about what happened to us why would you think that would not make an "interesting" story? Can't defend your behavior can you? Does not surprise me.

Date: Fri, 23 Jan 2009 02:44:06 -0800
From: Mike Subject: Re: FW: Dr. Phil Show
To:  Leta

The answer would be NO. What the hell are you doing trying to get on the DR. Phil show for? Jerry Springer wouldn't accept you?
--- On Thu, 1/22/09, Leta  


Jan 13, 2009 - 2 comments

  I'm so blue. I operate like a robot because I don't care. Nothing is the way I would have imagined a few years ago - and not for the better. I'm too fragile for this nasty world and the cards I've been dealt are [email protected] Take me away, Calgon.

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Little Shop of Horrors

Jan 11, 2009 - 0 comments

  Found out about a local audition tomorrow and I can't believe I'm considering going. It's for "Little Shop of Horrors" and I'm really too old for any of the parts but it's a small town and they mighthave to take me. A strong point is that the music is pretty soulful and I have a voice for that.
   I haven't gone out of the house for days and the last time I attempted to there was not only frost on the front of the window but on the inside and I couldn't get it off!! I drove down the street staring through a two inch spot I managed to clear on both sides or rolling down the window and trying to see. Finally realized that when my black sheep son came and surprized me last week he was probably hanging out and smoking in my van because he gave no sign of it while I saw him. The combination of the hot breath and the smoke is why I could only smear it around. My defrost and heat are broken and we're having record lows this week. My feet go numb every little trip I make so I try not to go anywhere. That and this dreadful acne and all the fat I've piled on lately - I imagine people who've known me (no one knows me now) will see me and have something new to whisper about - "Boy, has she gotten fat" (smirk smirk)

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Fatigue, Fear, Frustration

Jan 09, 2009 - 3 comments

  I find that these three emotions on the mood chart are my consistant friends. The three "F"s. Mostly it's mentally I'm fatigued, it's the world I'm afraid of and it's myself I'm frustrated with. I feel like I have nothing to look forward to and will never have again.

  My life is a disaster - just this week my friend accidentally broke the carafe on our new coffee maker and I took a bowl out of the microwave last night and the damp bottom had created a vacuum between it and the revolving plate and as I pulled out the bowl... This morning I was washing dishes and cut myself under the bubbles when I pulled out what hurt. It was a jagged piece of my boyfriend's favorite Guiness beer glass - which had been whole going in. These stupid accidents are just a microcosm of the way everything is constantly going wrong in my life in bigger ways.
  Soy un perdedor - I'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me?

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