Jul 02, 2008
Yesterday was the best day ever since I began this journey. I was honored by being present for the birth of my best firends baby girl. I was the only NON family invited and man oh man. I am forever changed and grateful for this experience. I was alone with the parents last night for like 4 hours at the hospital. They wanted me there!!! I held the new baby for hours!!I was told by them that I AM FAMILY!! I cant even describe how good it made me feel. I have no real family (i do have 5 kids) but they included ME in their family experience. WOW. I was actually grateful to not be high yesterday.
There were moms step moms dads and cousins there yesterday and they invited me to a party in a week and want to set me up with some guy...................now this is the real delema here. I dont know if I can do this. I dont know how to meet guys without alcohol or drugs, Ive never done it!!! So I really dont know what to do. I wanna go to the party but am so horrfied at the thought of having to be charming and attractive to meet some guy. I am sure this seems weird but I have thought of myself lately as some old washed up junkie and how could anyone want to be with ME. I am even shocked this family so readily wants me around. I still feel like I am always shaking and I still feel so weird. Can I function going to a party being set up with a blind date? Well neway I am just going on ....................so
Keep up the fight!!!