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Bad time of year.  

Nov 24, 2008 - 1 comments









with my family



My mother was in a nursing home and was blind.  She hd the sweetest smile when I visited and kissed her on the cheek.  Even though she was truly scared due to her MS, she kept on teaching me how to get some business done for my own future.
There's one thing she said to me before she was sent to hosice, and that was:  "This ENDS with us."  I have no children and she and I both had/have autoimmune disease (1) Crohn's Disese, and (2) M.S.

I really do miss her.  I was her only child and she loved me whenever I had to be her medica proxy.  A DNR was difficult since when we both went into the issues and the desires to decide upon them -- I didn't have any help.

At hospice, she and I had a wonderful visit almost 10 days before she died.  We sang hymns (at least that way, I would have an idea of what she loved and would want me to know those songs were her favorites.  So there... at the Memorial Service we had the top three favorite hymns played...

It's never too far away from my own thoughts of how I will be ... I already did the medical proxy yet, I don't know if the second parent (my dad) would go along with my best girl friend who graciously offered to be my medical emergency contact AND take the responsibility to honor my wishe.

4th of July

Jul 04, 2008 - 0 comments




Pain.  The folks I'm staying with have invited some of their friends over for a cook-out.  I don't want to participate.  
If I had my way today, I would be back at my home alone.  Instead I'll have to put on a reasonbly happy face and force myself to "enjoy"... wish me luck keyboard.