Funny how once you identify the stumbling blocks, it is easier to continue your journey. However, you must diligently be willing to do some self searching as to "what" and "why" you are continuing a negative behavior.
The friends here on MedHelp have been crucial in my support and recovery! While I had unlocked many other obstacles myself, I knew three remained that I did not have the key to.
1. Why did I never get angry?
2. Why was I stuck between 199-210 lbs for a year? What and where did this binging and purging come from?
3. Why didn't I like myself underneath or treat myself well when I thought I was a nice person and deserved to be treated well?
These last three were opened with the loving and caring support of a friend (psychologist) and a therapist and crisis team at the hospital.
I understand now the events in my life that shaped these behaviors and that I developed those behaviors as survival mechanisms, even though they were unhealthy. Understanding them has given me the key to unlock them, work through them in a positive manner, and continue on my journey.
Life is wonderful and the tough times help us grow in understanding and spirit ... they are not there to trip us up or to make us feel bad ... but to point us to a way to improve our lives and realize something is wrong that if we care enough to do the hard work and correct it ... we emerge in a metamorphosis.
I am forever changed and am most grateful. I sincerely thank all of you ... and my faith is renewed and stronger than ever.
LOVE to all of you .. it is a powerful tool and needed by all! Don't settle for less .. be all that you were meant to be!!! I BELIEVE IN YOU!!!!!!!
Ranae's Weight Tracker