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Bad at logging

Jan 23, 2009 - 0 comments

weight tracker


log activity

I have exercised almost every day - but I have another website where I log every day.

Weight Tracker

Friends and others

Dec 30, 2008 - 0 comments















New Year's Eve

Yesterday was an emotional day.  I saw a new counselor, this one from my new church.  He was very, very helpful and encouraging but just telling my story brought lots of tears.

Then I went to visit friends.  These are the most lovely people! and have been after me - gently - to stop cocooning and start living again.  They are the ones who got me back to church.  They are the ones who constantly tell me, "We love you and nobody in our adopted family wants you to be alone".  So I went, and ... it wasn't TOO bad.  lol

Only a few moments were uncomfortable for me, and of course I got through them.  I took tons of pics to send them all, of their kids playing and riding the horse.

Yes, I missed dh nearly the whole time.  Yes, there were some really difficult moments when drinks were being offered - and in one case, pressed on me.  I said no politely, my host even told the lady trying to pressure me, "Becky is not drinking and we are supporting her, not being a bad influence!"

My first social venture was OK.  My pastor says, "Don't give up on your marriage, it is salvageable!"  I'm trying to plan something to occupy myself for my first New Year's Eve alone in probably 25 years.

I'm going to make it.

Can you say "plateau"?

Nov 30, 2008 - 3 comments








Damn, I am tired of 180, 180, 180 ... I tried skipping a few days because everyone told me I shouldn't weigh every day.  But it still says 180.

My trainer - oh, I guess I should say EX-trainer, I ran out of money for sessions - told me it's time to ramp up my workouts.  I feel 90% dead now when I work out, so what does that mean?  lol

I want to work harder and I will.  It's just very hard, when you're depressed.  Often I don't even want to get out of bed, let alone put on my walking shoes or weight training gloves.

*SIGH*  I hate my life being so effed up.  I'm trying to keep the faith ...


Nov 27, 2008 - 0 comments

Weight gain





OK, so I got to reduce my meds for blood pressure because I lost 30 lbs.  And that is certainly cause to celebrate!  But then ... suddenly my weight shot up from 176 to 180 in two days!  What is going on with that?!?  Unless it's mostly water (and cutting meds in half means half the diuretics) how could that happen with the same diet and exercise?  Oh wait, I missed ONE DAY of exercise.  I mean, seriously??????