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May 25, 2009 - 0 comments

Conversion Disorder







Well here it is almost a year since my daughter was diagnosed with conversion disorder. Yet even now nothing makes any sense. I thank God everyday that she has almost fully recovered and the only symptom now is her blindness. But oh how I wish she could see again. The worst part of all of this that there is no explanation of why. When she asks me why she can't see, I can't tell her. Its just so unfair, she is the sweetest kid and doesn't deserve any of this. I am dealing with it much better now than I was. I try to do all the same things I did with her before. Its difficult as far as school, because she can't be taught braiile or anything since there is not a physical reason. I am so drained and just want her to wake up one day with her sight back. I have tried to contact people via this site who also had children with conversion disorder, but they made posts a long time ago and I am assuming they don't come on here very much. I wish someone had a answer, I wish someone knew what to do. This is all so absurd. Everyone wnats to know how shes doing, if they ever found out what caused this? How do I explain to them that I don't know, how do I explain this to them? I have searched and searched for answers to no avail. I have asked numerous people questions- they all have no answers. All of my friends and family say how strong we are... haha... yeah she may be, but I am not. I put on a good front is all. I want this nightmare to be over!!! I want someone to tell me why and how to fix this. All of this modern technology and no asnwers.... how does this make any sense whatsoever! I am sad and mad and I am not sure what to do anymore. All I want is to do the right thing for her, but how can I do that if I don't even know what that is? Its in her head they say, sure I understand that she thinks she really can't see... we have tried all the magic eye drops, the pinhole glasses, we are going to try hypnonis next. Oh how I hope that works! I can't imagine her being blind for the rest of her life. At least with no explantion why.... alright I must go now, I have brownies in the oven that need to come out. I have been keeping alot of my feelings in so I don't burden anyone else with them, I need to come on here more and do this, not that anyone is going to read this, but if they do, they are reading it because they are going through something similiar and pherhaps feel my pain. Unless you are going through it you can have no earthly idea how much I am going through. There are no words to explain it. None. I will write again soon..... Michelle