It feels good to be a "real" person. Do you guys notice the difference between the rest of the world and us? We have the courage they could only dream of havin. The world needs real people! It's difficult cuz it feels like raising children; everyone's hella dumb or something, or just blocked out to leave us one on one with God. Arm yourselves!
I feel as if i'm doin good, but judging by other's actions and opinions, i might be doin bad. Not discouraged, but a little confused. I want to think more positive, but/however, neglecting my own ideas and thoughts could land me in a pile of regret. Im scared to think any other way; I feel safe behind my wisdom. I felt so normal last night, I just get the idea that in others eyes I wasn't. I dont know what to think and so i'm at war with the dicision to trust anyone beside myself or say to hell with them all. Too many delimas. I'm on vegies and fruit now hoping that it'll cause a more comftorable affect...I don't want to experience the noia today...want peace for this week end...cease fire.
When I pray, it either seems to worsen or it doesn't change, at all.
Paul says that when we pray we should always pray in the Spirit. The only way to God is through the Spirit(Jesus). so if i'm in a state of disobedience, how could I be praying in the Spirit?
I should probably give God 100 percent before assuming that He just wants me to go through for what ever reason.
I cant help but to feel that i'm in this state of being because of me commiting adultery. after all we know the laws and scriptures about that, and if God is no lie then i'm being distroyed...He won't leave me hangin, but instead He will await my return...He could come and get me, but He knows that I know better, so he'll await my return.."The Prodicle Son".
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