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Can't sleep

Sep 23, 2013 - 1 comments
Tags:

can't sleep

,

Bipolar

,

Addiction



Well it's 12:00 in the morning here and I am wide awake.  My husband woke me up moaning and yelling.  Man I have never heard him do that.  Now I'm out in the den with my sweetie Billy(dog).  I'm having those crazy thoughts in my head.  I've got butterflies in my stomach.  This is my mind telling me "i can use one more time".  I hate it when this happens!!!!  So I got up on my laptop.  Today was an okay day.  I was manic again.  I cleaned everything that I cleaned yesterday.  The tips of my thumb and two fingers hurt so bad.  They are raw!  I see the doctor in the morning so I need to get something adjusted.  Bipolar is almost as hard to deal with as addiction.  Well I'm going to TRY and get some more sleep.

Feel pretty good

Aug 27, 2013 - 0 comments
Tags:

pretty good



Well I got plenty of sleep last night.  I didn't have any anxiety when I woke up. YEAH!!  I'm hoping to have a great day :-)   But I did **** up last night :-(  Victor brought home some damn Magnum bars and of course I ate one.  

Anxious

Aug 26, 2013 - 2 comments
Tags:

Anxiety

,

Panic Attack

,

TIRED

,

living



Today I woke up with a lot of anxiety.  I'm so sick of it!!  If I keep taking Xanax everytime I have a light, medium, or strong panic attack, I would be taking them 4 times a day.  I need help.  I'm so tired of living my life like this.  It makes it so hard to go anywhere in public. Sometimes I feel so hopeless.

Ok this morning

Aug 25, 2013 - 0 comments
Tags:

Exercise

,

quilty

,

learning

,

my husband

,

my dog



I woke up feeling ok and got on the computer.  I feel like I'm getting hooked to it.  I've learned so many new things.  Finally :-)  I went over to moms to get Brandon(my) to help me get my pictures sent over for my profile on here.  I spent 2 hours trying to figure it out.  DUGH!  For some reason I feel bad for being on it though.  I feel like I'm not paying enough attention to everyone else.  Even though me and Victor just watched tv at night.  I know Billy hates it!  I still find time to play with him and take him for walks but I still feel bad.  I guess because I'm not doing anything and concentrating (ADD meds are working)  I'm just not use to sitting still and I feel like this will cause me not to lose weight like I was.  I just need to exercise harder.  Welp lets see what tonight  brings.