Jan 18, 2011
I wrote this its just what came to me. I hope you enjoy reading it.
I laid there feeling the cold rain pour down upon me. I thought to myself Why? Why here, why now?I could feel my tear run down my face. I only felt those tears over the rain because of there warmth. It felt good amougst all the pain I was feeling it felt good to cry. As The feeling of pain faded the darkness came rushing it. People often said this moment would be so hard so full of fear and pain but it wasn't. It was peaceful. I felt the darkness cover me like a blanket and then once all the light had faded all the pain was gone as well. It was as if the whole world was gone and with it all the sorrow and pain. As I laid there in the darkness I felt my body become cold motionless and then I couldn't move. There was no tingling no numb feeling it was just gone. My eyes still moved but its was different strange somehow it didn't move but I could change where I was looking. All around me was this darkness it again was not fritening at all instead it gave a comfort and it made me think about all the good times. As I contiued to fall deeper I could only think about the life I had lived what with all the good and the bad times they were so vivid to me. Now I had come to the bottom or I asum it is the bottom. There was no falling, but I still could not move. Then at that moment my heart grew heavy and It came to me. Why All this had happened what all lead to this moment. My heart so bad I felt broken I felt ashamed. I had done so many wrongs in my life and this was it this was my death.
“Good morning students” said Ms. Gardner
“Good morning” replied the class in a slugish manner. It crappy day I was that person no one really cared about the one that was absent from the world. I did the work and then when it came to lunch I sat alone looking out on the world from a upper floor window. People seemed so happy down there people seem so cheerful. But not me. The world was a grey mesh of pain and sadness. Not that I lived some horrid life but I was lonely, sad, and simply not understood. In high school I was no one. Just that fat kid in the corner who didn't talk much. The few friend I had where the rejects that no one else wanted. They were good people and like me they were misunderstood. In middle I was no one I was so in my shell I would just be alone. So lunch would end I would go to some classes and then head home. Home was a fairly normal place. Fighting here and there constently asked who would I pick and a struggle of funds. I would retreat to my room. It was the only place that felt like my own. It was the only place I was happy. The space defined who I was a person with so much to say but just no way to show it. So then how you may ask how did It come to my death well that was coming to you see. No one can escape this world and it was going to catch up with me. I was at school the next day something felt off maybe it was the air or simply the fact I woke up at five in the morning hours before I usually did with no alarm clock at that. I was walking from my class to my usually sitting spot and there it was a scene I just can't describe. Such horror such pain. Why would some one do something like this. Moment like this everything in you tells you to run get help anything so your not facing this on your own. Maybe it was the fact that this persons life was in danger and didnt have that time. Perhaps it was because this was my place and it was being solid. The darkness of this world had come to my place a place of refugee from it all a place were I dont feel alone. Well what every “it” was I was going to act againist everything in my body and try to save this person from there death. ME the person no one knows. The person who gets treated like crap while this persons friends and other people ignored the situation I will be the person to act. I rushed in the crowd of people with a tackle I didn't even know what I was doing and for a second they didnt either. The way I had came was a no go. So I did another stupid thing I took this endangered person with me down and out the window. Boy it was more of a fall then I had expected. It must of broke every bone in my body. Or perhaps that was the weight of the person falling onto me. Peoples screamed around me and the person got up off me, crying out for help. I tried to move but it was no use my body was no more. At that moment it began to rain and then you know the rest.
I felt the all this pain and I tried to cry but no tears came why had I done that. I would still be alive if I would have not done that. I would have been fine. A light came pouring though the darkness and a hand followed by a being it took the form of someone close to me. It was you. You held your hand out to me. You were the first being to reach out to me to care enough. I tried to reach my hand out to you. I tried to extend my hand to you. But It would not give, and I cried out but no sound came from my now life less body. But Then you smiled at me. Such a warm kind smile it pour this warmth into me and then I felt it. I felt my soul, spirit, what every you want to call it lift from my body and with it all the pain of my life faded. I took your hand and you pulled me into the light. You showed me love and kindness. You freed me. I was happy and I was not alone.
Every where you look you see pained souls. Every where you see me. Perhaps I will give my life for you but all I need for you to save my life is to extend your hand and give me a smile.
Death- by Matthew L D.