Who am i today Journals
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Bad time

Jan 12, 2011 - 0 comments
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TIME

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bad

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scared

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WHY

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community

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dont know

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mood tracker



I'm sad and scared no community if we get evicted I dont know what we will do :( Why must this keep happening

Who am i today

Back Pain

Jan 01, 2010 - 0 comments
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Back pain

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Pain

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Work

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help

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normal

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medical

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worried

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Doctor



I hurt myself moving things yesterday. It hard to get up and down bending hurts. I'm worried because i dont know if i can go to work tomarrow because of it. I now understand a sliver of what my mother must suffer she has RA. I dont have any insurance or money. My normal doctor is on military leave and i so i dont know what i can do other then go to the ER maybe ill quilfy for state insurance and maybe the hospital has some sepical funding. The mexicans all get it and not to be racist but its a little unfair i need medical help and because im not extremly poor or an immagrant or have knowlege in working the system.  

I know that last statement may be a selfish one for i do have many things to be thankful for i  just want to get my heath better and i know other who could really use the they are just like me they are above what you have to be to get goverment help yet they can just barly keep there payments. I dont know what to do. I dont want to lose my job and my boss already doesnt really like me.



Who am i today

Opening the Door

Dec 16, 2009 - 5 comments
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door

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opening

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lonely

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head

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Love

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mood tracker

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bad

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good

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Men

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wall

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Crying



In my mind are Doors
These Doors hold Secrets
These Secrets will never get out
These secrets rot the walls

O these Doors in my mind
Holding all the things I choose not to share
Holding all the good and bad things
O These Doors in my mind

In my mind are Doors
These Doors hold Mirrors
These Mirrors do not reflect me
These Mirrors show another Me

O these Doors in my mind
Holding all the things I choose not to share
Holding all the good and bad things
O These Doors in my mind

In my mind are Doors
in these doors are other me
the other Me's wear Mask's
O what horrible things they are
Some smiling while others crying

O these Doors in my mind are all lock
for my and your protection.
O a Door is cracks and brakes
a man is siting in it

O the man in my head does not like you or him
O this man wishes for you to go away
but in his lonely world he wishes
He wishes you would hold him

O the Man in my head he wishes
O how he wishes his hate would go away
O he wishes you would just go away


O these Doors in my mind
Holding all the things I choose not to share
Holding all the good and bad things
O These Doors in my mind

O please open  the door and love ME
I've been waiting for you.

Who am i today

opening a conversation..

Dec 14, 2009 - 0 comments
Tags:

strange

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WHY

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Conversation

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opening

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child

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people

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first time

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mood tracker



Is a skill i lack. I can't do it i understand the ideal of it but it just seems strange to walk up to someone randomly and begin to speak with them. I can hold a conversation with people who begin it. I just cant it it to start going. I wander why. Is it because im an only child or maybe because I cant handle being judged for the first time so close.

Who am i today