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Tough Year

Dec 07, 2015 - 7 comments

The bipolar meds & Nervous breakdown &ECT caused me to lose my memory of my Hospitalizations. Maybe that's a good thing. But for awhile I couldn't even remember my cats name it got so bad. I have to be ok. I must fight to stay out of hospital and keep my freedom. DonE leaves for China this Friday. I must stay on tract. Eat. Sleep. Shower. Brush teeth. Care for the cat & dog.


Dec 24, 2014 - 6 comments

Does anyone know the status of Rosyourallright?

Pill taking Triggers

Dec 13, 2013 - 2 comments

There is something weirdly stressful about the day Don E comes back & when he leaves for work. This am he left for his big trip back to China. Between 5am &now 10 am I've taken 3 pills. I didn't get them out of Taper Container ( where they are cut up & counted,I took them out of bottle. Right like I'm tricking myself.  I will still be on track- 2 1/2 pills till tomorrow.  I feel like the dieter that ate 1/2 the cake. May as well eat the other 1/2 now.   I told husband I may extend visa in Panama & stay here. He wondered if I would have enough pain pills.  I was concerned about buying more Bipolar meds. They are expensive here & my USA ins doesn't cover CR.     I'm in main house. Hate my new painting.  May paint a new one on the back. Was looking at some work 2009,I think I'm getting worse.   I should be happy. Roger is here. I'm going to start tutoring his son in English. Roger is processing fresh coconut & he'll make Coconut rice milk pudding. Then we can put some in the upper hse fridge for when I return to Art Studio. Haven't heard from Psychologist.  He's jealous of me. Not my mental health,just jealous probably cuz he has to stay in the city & work. I am able to look out over the ocean all day & listen to the waves crashing at night.  But in reality nothing to be jealous. I have to figure a way out of pain pill landia, struggle w bipolar & Agrophobia. He just sits in his chair & listens. Spends free time billing insurance company's.   I've not been jealous of anybody or anything. Thank God for that. Ok. That's it.

Ladrones!! Monos!!  Monkeys came to steal bananas !

Dec 12, 2013 - 1 comments






Nice overcast am to groom doggie. She's still getting loads of ticks, but the NEEM oil is preventing them from burrowing.  Next week Roger ( my Ranch guy comes back when Husband flys away) Roger will give her another Buzz cut. That'll help. Spray w Neem & soap around the house too!
   So. Too bad I didn't have camera phone. Monkeys came really close. Now I hear them out there, Monkey Fight !!
We cut banana plant down when harvesting bananas. Then hang them in the apartment. Monkeys are clever. They get on the roof & reach thier arm over to steal bananas.
    Mother banana plant we cut, grows a side shoot for the next years banana. We have 5 types. Maybe 25 plants in all. Next wet season God willing, we'll do more planting. I'm still recovering from Psychotic Episode. Or Nervous Breakdown. Now I'm on the farewell taper. So this is my priority. Maxy