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More pain,what's new?

Feb 06, 2009 - 9 comments

I'm so sick of family,pets,everything and everyone leaving me.I was stupid to start a friendship with someone who had the same disease my Mom passed from,to close to home and stupid.But no matter what happens,I'm staying supportive for this person,I can't abandon them,I just hope & pray God lets this friend stay on earth,not just in my heart.This is why I typically keep to myself in my hometown.Why get close to anyone when their just going to leave you anyway? After this only my son and pets will have excess to my love,my soul,my heart,me...And God and my son's guardian angels,including his Nana that has passed better watch over & guard him or that's just it.I'm already nearly grieving myself to death over my Mom's passing and she was actually kind of mean,but I loved her good & bad and can't live like this anymore....with a heart..

What life has become......

Jan 16, 2009 - 12 comments

I would move heaven & earth to have you back for just one more day,
We would take Kobe to the park to play,
You would fix all that has gone wrong in my life since you died,
For without you,I've lost myself,you were my guide.

Everyday I dread,we depended on each other way to much,
Something I'll never have again,your motherly touch,
God knew this would ruin my life,losing you,
He took you anyway,help me learn to run my own life,for I haven't a clue.

A merciful God?all my life has been pain and despair,
My will to go on is hanging by a thread,do you care?
What did I do to deserve this?you gave me my son,
For if you didn't bless me with him,you know what I would have done..

To you from me

Dec 09, 2008 - 4 comments

Mom, I saw a mother & daughter together today while were waiting to get Kobe's haircut.They were waiting for there little girl.I felt like the circle that fulfilled my life has been broken,You,me & Kobe,never again,and I don't know that I can live like this, without you...