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Today was hard..

Dec 18, 2008 - 0 comments
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today

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hard

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Pain

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family

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help

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pains

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drugs

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Work

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worried

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helps

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afterload



After feeling so great all weekend, and feeling like I have this all under control BOOM today got me and drug me down. I woke up this morning in pain, and stayed in pain. I felt like I had been ran over 3-4 times, and I could not manage to get out of bed allday. I got up around 3pm finally from being in and out of bed, and ate supper and got a hot bath. I felt better. I was awake then. So I cleaned a little house and played yahtzee with the family. But after being in pain allday it really worried me. Since I was only diagnosed Friday of last week it scares me to death. I know there are many things I can do to help myself feel better, and I am working on them things. But when you wake up feeling the way I did today it really makes you feel like you just got bumped back down to level one of where you started and its time to start all over again.
I wish you all the best, and sorry for my ranting..
God Bless

Pain Pain go away

Dec 18, 2008 - 0 comments
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unexplained pain beh

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fibromyalgiayalgia

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narcotic pain pills

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PAIN PILLS

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Pain



So I do not like taking medicine, however, since I started having anxiety I had to realize that I have to understand that sometimes you have to take something. So I accepted that and moved on. Now the Dr. has put me on three new meds along with the one I was already taking. I would like to say they help, but I have noticed nothing except my blood pressure is better. As far as the pain it *****. I have hurt so bad all weekend its crazy. Right now I am hurting so bad I could strangle someone. He put me on Ultram for pain. I dont mind that because I am 100% AGAINST narcotic pain pills due to watching my mom let them destroy everythign she worked so hard for all her life. I was on web md looking at the meds I take as I do this anytime I am prescribed something. I have to know everything about it before I will take it. So yeah Im weird. But I saw on there that you do not take Celexa (my anxiety med) and Ultram together because it can cause seizures. Well I had already taken it the first day and it made me feel like I was free falling from an airplane or something..lol..So I stop taking it, but now Im sitting here hurting like hell with no relief. The only thing I can do is take my Ambien and go to bed. I have been in bed allday. So BLAH. Dont wanna do that. So I guess I will call the Dr. tomarrow and see what he thinks. I hate calling for something like pain meds though because I know what they think. I have seen it too many times with my mother. I dont want narcotics, I just want relief..Blah..

My diagnoses

Dec 18, 2008 - 0 comments
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struggles

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antiproliferative

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Pain

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suffered

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Pregnancy

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dealing with anxiety



All of my life I have suffered with some health struggles. When I was born I had some birth defects that I would rather not go into at this time. Those things were taken care of then, even though they're still after effects of it I will live with until the day I die. I can handle them. I am strong, and God is leading me.
Since I was young I have always had a nervous bone in my body. It later around the age of 20 turned into more. I was having full blown panic attacks, and anxiety. Let me tell you my friend if you have never had any of this it is a living HELL to deal with. You feel trapped in your own world, and you feel like your living outside of your body. For a few years it bothered me to go to Wal-Mart alone, to the gas station alone, etc. After taking a few meds for it I have been settled with one that works great for me, Celexa. Its non-habit forming (Which I am BIG on due to my mother having an addiction all her life). Since taking Celexa I have gained myself back I felt. I go anywhere (except Dr's..lol) alone, and I never really feel nervous anymore. I DO NOT like taking medicine. I never have and never will, but I have had to realize and accept the fact that sometimes it has to be done. So I was later diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I accepted it and made it known I was not going to let this stop me from living my life. Sadly it did. it halted me from a great career, travels, and more. The most devastating would be the career, but God has a plan for us all. I accepted this and have moved on since. Depression I never really had alot of. There are times I get depresseed and feel very much alone, even when I am surrounded by the best in the world. For the most part though I have bad days just like anyone else.
Around 22 (I think it was) I was diagnosed with GERD a.k.a. Acid Reflux. I would literally feel I was having a heart attack at times. I was put on (meds once again) aciphex I think it was called and actually got it under control. I still have flare up's with it when I eat them damn jalapenos I love so much, and an occasional heart burn flare up, but for the most part I handle it fine.
Then my bowel movements..I know something NO ONE wants to hear, but my grandmother had colon cancer, my grandmother's sister had it, and her brother. So this is an area I tend to worry more with than most. So in the past 2 years I have had issues with Irritable bowel syndrome. Allthough never diagnosed with it I have issues with it. One day may be great the next may be crappy..LOL..But its been a bit of an issue. So I went to the Dr for it, and he basically seem to think it was nothing. So I took his word for it. You have to understand the Dr. I was seeing at the time is the same one that gave me Cymbalta for my anxiety, and the Cymbalta gave me headaches BAD and he said basically there were no other meds available for anxiety. Nutcase he is. I know he has the degree, but come on..LOL..
All my life I have also suffered with restless leg syndrome. I can usually take a hot bath, throw on a lil absorbine jr and be fine. However the last 3-4 months have been HELL.!!. I mean pain that had me on my knees crying. I have also started having this issue where if Christy even puts her hand on my back at night it felt like she was punching me rock hard in the side. I am also so tired all the time that I literally feel I cant even put a load of clothes onto wash. It ***** because I am very active. Always have been. I have to be up doing something all the time, but lately I cant do anything for having no energy and feeling like Im about to pass out asleep. So I went to see a new Dr. today, and after some test, and examining I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia.
So with thus being said it puts all my past medical conditions into place. Each thing I have described is a symptom of Fibromyaglia. So far I do not know alot about this disorder/disease?..But I am readng up...It is something you have the rest of your life, however, there are great meds as much as I do not like taking them available for it. So far the dr basically put me on some meds to get me comfortable and I go back in a month to start focusing more towards treating the Fibro..He also put me on Diovan because my blood pressure was high..So I have to get started on an exercise plan, eating better, stop drinking my cokes (OH NO), and loose a few pounds. This all in turn should help with living with this. Its a long road, but I have a great family, and friends and I will not let this get me down like I did with anxiety.
I plan on writing a lil each day here as its my way of dealing with things is writing, typing, whichever you prefer to call it. I will more than likely move it over to a real blog (i.e. blogger.com) or something, but for now I had to release how I felt..So here it is..LOL..
Until later GOD BLESS.!!.