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19 weeks & 4 days, NO HEART BEAT

Feb 16, 2014 - 6 comments

What a feeling of deja vu.  I knew something was wrong so I went to the ER, I was right.  No heart beat.  I'll be seeing my dr tomorrow & getting induced either Monday or Tuesday.  I am done.  This was a surprise pregnancy & we finally came to accept it & started getting excited.  I will no longer TTC or be pregnant again.  I am really going to push for my hysterectomy.  I cannot keep doing this, physically or emotionally.  I AM DONE.

We're BACK.....

Jan 03, 2014 - 0 comments

shocked & completely unplanned but we're back.

Mom was diagnosed with Cancer....

Sep 17, 2013 - 0 comments

This has just been a crazy, stressful, lonely couple of weeks.  My mother has been not feeling well for MONTHS, her dr did not do any of the routine testing or exams until after SIX months of extreme symptoms.  By the time she was finally taken serious....STAGE 4 CANCER, that has spread everywhere.  The surgeon & oncologist have given her 60 days or less without chemo & not sure where we'll be with chemo, could be better, could be worse.  I contacted the Red Cross & Trevor was brought home from Germany on Saturday, he was given a 30 day emergency leave since this may be his last visit with his grandma.  All I can think about is that my lil boy will never know or remember his grandma, he's only 4.5 months & it's just unfair.  Seeing her in pain & struggling, having to take care of all of her basic needs is just so overwhelming.  Obviously I'm going to do whatever she needs but it is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.  I just feel empty.

Really want a baby!!!!!

Demenn Spade Jr Birth Story

May 11, 2013 - 10 comments

I went to my O.B. appt on Friday, May 10 & hadn't made much progress, 2.5/3 cm & 60% effaced.  Came home & ate an entire pineapple around 6 p.m. then took a walk down my street.  My hubby left for work around 8:30 pm & I went to sleep.  At 3 I felt a small gush of fluid & just knew!  Got up to head to the bathroom & then it wouldn't stop!!  Called my hubby at about 3:15 & he came home.  By the time we got to the hospital & got settled in & checked it was just after 4am.  I was still close to 3cm & contracting every 3 minutes.  I had a feeling it was going to be a quick labor so we waited about an hour & then the anesthesiologist came for my epidural.  IT WAS HORRIBLE!!!!  He said my spine had a curve & I kept getting shots of electricity down my left leg. My right side went numb right away but not my left.  It took forever for him to get it in place & it never worked right.  At 11:30 am we started getting ready to push, by this time the epidural was useless.  I felt every contraction & TONS of pressure!  The nurse had me do a practice push & then made me stop, she said baby was right there.  I pushed 3 times & he was born at 12:47 pm.  They layed  him on my chest & he just stared at me, wasn't crying at all.  The nurses took him to try & get him to cry....he never really did.  His 1 minute apgar was 8 & his 5 minute was 9, they said he looked great.  When the hubby cut his cord the Dr. pointed out a HUGE knot & said that if my labor or delivery would've been longer things could've gone very badly.  Then after his cord was cut they noticed he only had a 2 vessel cord instead of a 3 vessel cord.  Only 1% of babies are born like this, most die before birth was what he told us.  He was sent for a u/s of his kidneys & they also checked his heart, those are 2 of the most common issues.  He was PERFECT!!!!!!  We had a follow up yesterday with his pediatrician & he's lost a little bit of weight & is now weight 6lbs 15.4 oz.  Another result of his cord is lower birth weights....my other 3 children were all over 9lbs.  He is here, he is healthy & he was obviously meant to be my miracle baby!!!!!

Demenn Jr.