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Jan 24, 2009 - 0 comments

I had this really weird headache today that i used to get a lot in high school. it's like a tension headache and also it feels like my brain is itchy or crawly or something. it's hard to explain. it makes me really frustrated and irritable though.
I miss my boyfriend a lot. that's really the only relationship problem i'm having. i feel like i don't have time for anything and it's really cutting into the time i get to spend with him, plus i'm usually in a weird mood when we do get to hang out.
work issues are really school issues. i do not want to read "Phaeto". my eyes hurt because my prescription is so bad now for my contacts and my headache and nausea get worse when i try to read, and it is also hard to follow and to pay attention. ad i made the mistake of looking at next week in my agenda and it's a freaking nightmare. and i have to add in volunteer work so i can move on to step ten, and i just feel like i am at my limit. so i guess i'll just float on from here. pray and knock one thing out at a time.
sweeney todd is the worst movie and music score, ever, by the way,
the self harm i've done today was smoking and i made myself throw up. i really didn't want to, i hate doing that but my stomach hurt sooooo bad. it felt like i really needed to throw up, like i was constantly on the verge of it, so finally i just made it happen. i know it's not good to do but my stomach feels better now. not awesome, by a long shot, but i don't feel nauseous anymore.
i cried a little bit today because i felt so overwhelmed, and i cried a lot just now because i feel lonely and i guess scared a little. i don't know of what. but god will provide a way for me to get the important stuff done, and i am never lonely with him, and i am never without him, and i have nothing to fear because i am under his watch. i just have to keep remembering to pray, pray, pray. and to get a god box!
i hope i get some good sleep in tonight. i'm exhausted but not sleepy. pray pray pray...

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Jan 23, 2009 - 0 comments

I've been tired all day. I saw the miracle of life in psych. long commute just for that. my sister in law went into labor and they did a c-section. my other neice is sleeping over. no homework got done.

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All over the place

Jan 21, 2009 - 0 comments

I feel frusterated and hectic and head tension and a lot of my muscles are sore. I don't know why. I slept a good amount but it definitely was not "restful". My head is all over the place.
Very irritable. Everyone needs something and I don't have time so leave me alone!
I forgot to take my meds this morning so I had to come home after my first class and now I will have to drive all the way back to Dahlonega. I hate the commute. I don't know if that might be what is dragging me down.

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Jan 20, 2009 - 0 comments

I feel no stress today. This is the first time in a long time. I set myself up for it this morning. I was pretty energetic this morning but it has slowed down now and I think I could take a nap if I weren't at school. I have my class in another hour. I already had lunch but I still want to eat. Not like I'm hungry or anything. Maybe just bored. I don't feel like my makeup looks good today so I feel like I don't want anyone to look at me, but usually these things aren't as bad as I think, and I guess I don't care what people see me like today. It's just one of those days. I got a lot of sleep last night, I don't know why I'm so tired and I have bags under my eyes. I don't even have  homework to do so I'm reading ahead. My lymph glands are swollen, maybe I'm coming down with something? Again? I think I will get some coffee. And maybe a cookie..

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