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TODAY AND HELLO DEAR FRIENDS XXXXXX

Feb 28, 2014 - 0 comments

I am just going hour by hour and restnig my arms and hands.Very hard as hands arms painfull stiff and locking All over paib exspected WD's and C/PAIN is ^%$£"! But there is no finishing line but a place in life u want to be WITHOUT Medical intervention and drugs, THAT'S the bit i am against. I only ever had 1 Doc that looked for the CAUSE and CURE. Not 'The cover up'' sure pain med's were given BUT that wasn't a 'FOR LIFE' senario with her. It was the part of the healing journey and well kept an eye on.But now it is what it is and right now it's HELL!!!  BUT....i am walking away from it and that's a good thought and if GOD see's that if i am able to be a % better and i want it not just for me but so i can then help other's to find their way too then all the year's of suffering are for a good reason. I know that if this did not happen to me, not just me but other's i have loved and lost. Then i can go and help many more people to have some reason to smile and want the day to come.Pian bad so break.BUT i have to exercise a bit as the locking up will get worse! pain or not!! it is bad now but at least i can move a bittt. Has to be done.

SMART RECOVERY ADDICTON SERVICE

Feb 26, 2014 - 1 comments

I have now also using in international Addiction Help Service as well as NA, it's called SMART RECOVERY and you can go to face to face meetings, ON-LINE as well which you DON'T NEED web CAM'S or SKYPE which is brilliant you can just type but these are LIVE MEETING'S at set times and 4 on-line ones a week and the SMART RECOVERY building isn't far from my home and i can get there by bus.

The on-line has load's of helpful TOOL'S which are brilliant and you can have a BLOG if you want but i am going to JOURNAL  and POST HERE and use the TOOL'S at SMART and really easy to use and so well thought out and helpful and if you want to use the LIVE CHAT at the on-line meetings you can buy a headset off SMART and the Funds go to keep all the help OUTSIDE and ON-LINE going or you can buy or use your own.

And i am also keeping up the NA meetings as well so THE CREATOR has made me READY and well ARMED!! :-D GOD IS GREAT!! I need the Spirituality  of NA and it's NOT 'Religious' or a 'Cult' at all!! Its wonderful to share 'Fellowship' of the 'Spirit' with other 'Spirits' after all everyone of us is SPIRIT living a HUMAN existence not the other way around!! :-D  And 'GOD' is just a  Nic name for 'LOVE' it's Man Made and i could go in to how one word had been used to terrify and enslave the Human Race and the WORST INIQUITIES are alway' carried out by MAN using that word?

As a child ALL of us were taught to FEAR GOD!!! A BIG F-IN LIE!!! LOVE does not promote suffering, fear, and if you do wrong is 'OUT TO GET YOU????NO IT'S NOT!!! And follow not 'Man Made Rules, and do as ''THEY' tell you or else? THEIR OUT TO GET YOU NOT ''GOD'' if you don't do their bidding and blindly follow like sheep? And all the TV EVANGELIST?? Send 'MONEY NOW???'' GOD DON'T NEED OR WANT MONEY!! THEY DO!!!

So before i start to sound like 'ONE OF THEM LYING DEVIL'S!!'' i got one last thing to say 'STOP FALLING FOR THEIR BS!! LOVING THE LORD COST NOTHING!! IT'S FREE!! AND SO IS LOVE'S LOVE!! Ans that's what i am doing AND i have cut the pill's down to 40MG I feel STRONG!!  and i am getting a lot of help to get back aand fore to NA meetings and the one lady thinks another NA member may be able to help me get to the SMART building too but it's a lot nearer than the NA meeting place which is quite a distance from here.

And i am WILLING ans DOING everything i can to speed along my recovery AND i have thrown away anything that should NOT be here +any SPARE pill's as well. And the last few day's i been forgetting to take my last Diazapam but you GOT TO be careful with coming off those too fast it's dangerous!! I had huge fits from trying to get off too quickly and i'm lucky i never broke my neck!! it was tha bad and went on for hours!! Right stop typing time!!

JUST WANT TO SHARE GOOD NEW;S!!  :-D

Feb 23, 2014 - 9 comments

Can't type much so keeping it short

I been so lucky!! A volunteer from NA has been arranged to come pick me up and take me to my first meeting Tonight!!
And the woman i originally spoke to has rang me and left a message offering to 'Sponsor' me already before i even get there? We got on so brilliantly on the phone we were chatting away like old friends and she's married with kids and lives 5miles away just outside my City. I

am sssssooooo grateful!! Amen!! she left a lovely message as i was in bed as time was getting on when she rang back. Some things are just meant to be. Now i have even MORE hope!! I have people i don't have to explain stuff too and their both lovely ladies too so thats two new friends to help me in a phone call? Brilliant!!!! :-D

list of products times before/with/after food and EFFECTS

Feb 23, 2014 - 1 comments

Although i am trying NOT to type i for maybe more than just my sake but FOR MANY SAKES Iam keeping a Journal as a way of keeping track of the above and anything note worthy in order to help; keep myself aware of time and factors of effects/side effects. And  ''FOR/AGAINST/REACTIONS. ETC I will if i can keep everything in SEPARATE HEADINGS an because i am having SIDE EFFECTS from certain AMINO ACIDS and other NUTRITIONAL SUPPLEMENTS and i will put Brand Names this is VERY IMPORTANT!! I am also concerned about EVERY ONES SAFETY as these can be just as DANGEROUS  as CHEMICAL DRUGS and same as CHEMICALS certain Brands have known and unknown side effects so its not just a case of Removing the 'Health Substance'' also the 'SOURCE'' is critically Important too. I shall begin.......

After Re-reading as i saw the 'ORIGINAL POST'' by ''Thomas'' about ''The Thomas recipe for Opiate Withdrawal'' on the website he was using year's ago to try and find help for myself.  And once again taking myself off 'Opiate Painkillers'' i knew NOTHING about and didn't even know the were 'Opiates?'' and i'd never heard of them but i was in so much pain i never asked anything about the drug so just this second as i typed that i thought '

'DESPERATION MAKES COMMON SENSE FLY OUT THE WINDOW!!
STOP AND THINK BEFORE MAKING ANY RASH REGRETTABLE DECISIONS !!!

STOP!! THINK USE ..COMMON SENSE YOU DON'T NEED SIXTH SENSE
BE TRUTHFUL WITH YOUR SELF AND ITS ''ALWAYS THE BEST OF 2 CHOICES''

RIGHT ONE OR THE WRONG ONE DO NOT LIE AND MAKE ''EXCUSES?
TO DO WHAT YOU KNOW IS  THE WRONG ONE IS TOO PROLONG YOUR SUFFERING!!?

AND MAKE WORSE THE LENGTH OF TIME AND SYMPTOMS THAT SHOULD EASIER SOONER?
STOP GIVING REGRET A LIFE IN YOUR LIFE? FIGHT BY SURRENDER TO WIN!!!

FOR THIS IS THE ''ONLY'' GIVING UP BUT ITS NOT GIVING IN!! JUST DO IT!!
THEN THE WORSE SHALL PASS SOONER RATHER THAN LATER!!

DON'T KEEP PUTTING OFF WHAT YOU MUST PUSH ASIDE!!  
HOLDING BACK DON'T CHANGE  ANYTHING AT ALL AND NOTHING IS GAINED!!

BUT WHAT YOUR HOLDING BACK IS YOUR OWN RECOVERY!
AND GAINING MORE ANXIETY BY AN OUT OF CONTROL IMAGINATION?

YES IT'S BAD! IT HAS BEEN FOR YEAR'S NOW!!
AND YOU PUT UP WITH THAT? LETS TURN YEAR'S IN TO DAY'S

DAY'S INTO WEEKS THEN MONTHS OF MORE GOOD!
NOT LET BEING WEAK CHANGE IT IN TO MORE BAD YEAR'S!!

I am going to keep it written where i can see it at ALL TIMES i am sure that the above words are going to make a difference in how i progress from now.and right now an anxiety attack is trying to set in. TAKE A BREAK!!

7-35am..... NOW READING UP ON (SAM-e) for a while as 'MORE BAD SIDE EFFECTS'' are coming to light now as in ALL so called 'TREATMENT' Medical, Self or which ever path you decide to walk towards good heath.
Carry on with this later