Feb 18, 2014
Before i can even THINK about using this 'Shamanic Root'' which some one has got, i have NOTHING in MY hoe except what i'm tapering off, and i havent got the 'Sometimes but not alway's' Usuals like Booze or Cannibis to fall back on as i have done. But i'm not saying it's a good any of the two to get off another 'Addiction' and i don't care about the 'MEDICAL' view of 'Addiction' everyone i know that takes street drugs does so NOT to get 'HIGH' as its all money no one can really afford to waste killing their self?
But because now they can't function because of WD? And many want off the drugs but the only 'help' is go get a life time prescription at the drug clinic near Town? But back to one drug in place of another, when i CT's off Opiates before i was already drinking to much yep! an 'Alcoholic' it don't matter HOW i was at the time. And i smoked weed too, but at one stage i do a week or 2 smack at it, stop for a week, a few week's ? A month? And if i had known i was on a road to PAWS big time i would have stopped and stayed stopped for ever, i never knew about this until after i went CT from one hell of a lot of Alcohol and day's with no sleep? I only slept about a few hrs a week and that went on for months. And hence the weed i smoked it to eat and sleep and as i was at it anyway all i was doing was taking one less drug by coming off the oppiates. And then my legs would hurt and my chest get rough so i stopped the weed for weeks and then the booze. But ended up back on them. And i stope that for ages after i got off the other drugs as i was tryibg to heal myself and spending a lot of money on Holistic Medicine and it was pointless.
A lot of money i may as well given away? thing is i can't afford to spend it like that anyway but when your desperate? And i never bought pills i get them on script and when i drank i'd stop smoking so i had booze money . So me doing 'Research' for a 'non drug' way to get off the drugs is where the ibogaine came from. And if i'd been thinking right and just put up with the pain when i ran out of Codine i could hav edid CT for at least 24hrs then i could take it.
You got to be at least 24 hrs before the Ibo or its dangerous and i got to get to the DR's for a ECT and liver blood teat's don. But then i have to wait a week for the blood tests to come back or longer. and the only way to get it done quiker is go to A+E and the way i feel now i knopw other's would go there today being like this but they bloody ZAP you with xrays all the time and i do not want that i had too many.
And moving about as much as you can is better or even reading, music to throw up to? Its better to have some form of distraction than listening to your insides trying to escape out you butt of mouth. And a walk is even better a brisk walk if you can do it i find the quicker the better when you feel really yuck! but able to walk outside for a it. Too slow and it's more hard work trying to keep it up. I suppose that's because 'Endorpins' pick up a bit more. Isn't it strange?
i know self professed Junkies that now know more about Braind than a Brain DR? But couldn't write their name before? And i im going to sort some water color paints on to a palette on my home made easel art corner which is an easel built in to a wooden box with all kinds of paints and arty painting bits i bought when i was too unwell to go anywhere/. I cant paint but i like doing it to relax nothing great just any color and lines faces dots. It dont matter doing it is the point.And i got an Engineer from my ISP calling anytime in the next 6 hours so its a pee off as if i wanted to go for a wal i got to wait here? And i am getting so rough now i got to take the Library books i got back today some how i not going to make it otherwise and in not putting the pills up again now i've gone over 2 days and am going through 3/
And i cant afford a bill off the Library either oh! And ****!!! Forgot to cancel food order AGAIN!! The guy upstairs i gave stuff to before so it wasn't wasted and i cant afford to pay how much my delivery is to give away?I dont mind doing it if i cant use it then help some one else out. But theres others worse off around here but i cant get to them i walk to them with it and its no joke struggling around with bags and there out? Ah well, i got a few things i need to do before i cant and that could be any minute so do i now,