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as of today..

Feb 14, 2014 - 0 comments



new pain


feeling normal again

Yesterday Feb 13, i had dinner with my dad and told him i've been clean for a little over a month now. I didnt even realize my sobriety date was his birthday...ironic. But it went well i was honest with him in all his questions, hes a recovering alcoholic/addict now 6 years sober. If theres anyone to go to for help, its him. He has been my role model and i am very proud i told him and am including him in my help with full recovery and sobriety. Tomorrow night i am attending an NA meeting...My emotions have been crazy lately so im nervous ill break out into tears the moment i speak my name. I have been crying so much lately, and i just found out from my doctor that i have a dislocated disc in my neck, 2 years old....what im saying is now that im clean off drugs that apparently made me numb to everything, i feel. I feel emotions, emotions i didnt used to get... and im feeling pain i've numbed for 2 years! I knew that only whip lash from that car accident 2 years ago couldnt have been the only damage done. Well it wasnt and im feeling it. I know it sounds cliche or w/e the term is...but it's nice to feel what the body and mind are supposed to naturally feel. I feel alive... i mean pain *****, and crying every day for no reason is lame, but this is how im supposed to be, and this is normal. and im ready for normal.