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day 19

Mar 21, 2014 - 0 comments

**** **** **** **** ****......... ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

watching time fly by

Mar 16, 2014 - 0 comments

minute watchin,  restless even takin a break,  ms. rls never misses a date. Shes so provacative..assault n batteries, the sheets. 2 in 48, 6 in 72. sleep deprivation gon,' get me for these pills do. Relapse tommrow n it's all for nuthin, me n oxy is finished tho.. detoxin ...praying to a toilet bowl, cover my head n hide I'm ashamed of myself like the Broncos in the super bowl. A pool of codine would b a treat ...but then there's only tricks at Halloween... when the kids come ill hand out empty pill bottles ...maybe my insides r hollow..selfish prick that I am I'm takin a stand against vics percs roxis n percadans.  Not in a house w a mouse or on the couch f#$ k u Sam I am! Im 14 in now waiting for this black cloud to turn pink. I'm not missing one more second of my babies growin up not a half a blink. Turnin negatives to positives changing for the better hoping for the best n praying for the latter..venting thru journal all around me judgementals had to change my life 4 I e ent mental

Day 7 oxy/hydro wd

Mar 09, 2014 - 0 comments

Been on oxy n hydro since I can remember. ..prob 5 years. My wife n I have decided to take back our lives n we r 7 days into what I've learned from this forum may very well b the hardest thing we've ever done. My head n neck are legs, u can have those crawling body aches n I've slept 6 hours n this last week. day 4 I thought the worst was over....LOL...I should count my blessings tho my poor wife has it worst then me for sure...Im missing the nausea n GI issues...*knocks on the biggest piece of wood i see* we've tried to quit before to no avail...but every other time was just till we could get more...this was differerent not just because of how much we wanted it. We had money in the bank, 2-30's n 8 perc-7.5s when we decided enough was enough n for us to salvage what was once a picture perfect family that in the last two years have blown thousands n thousands of dollars on prescription drugs. we r doing this for our kids who have dealt w our wd's for the last time. Who have seen mommy n daddy argue over pill count for the last time. Before everything spiraled out of our control I so clearly remember standing over my first child when he was a baby n looking down at him saying welcome to our wonderful life.  I've never been more sure about anything but this is the last time I go thru this n im keeping my thoughts posted because so many of ur stories helped n r Still helping me... Thanks to everyone whose story has helped me thru countless restless nights.