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The Start of Our Journey!! :D

Feb 15, 2016 - 9 comments

Made some phone calls today.  Brian has to have more blood work done before he has his biopsy.  They'll be checking for HIV, yadda yadda yadda because they want to make sure his biopsy isn't contaminated when they store it in the freezer thingy (yeah I don't know these technical terms lol) with the other samples. He'll have to sign a consent form saying they have his permission to freeze it.  SO it's blood work Wednesday morning, then I'll call and make an appointment with the urologists.  The urologists will then help us decide on a day to do the biopsy.  WHAT!!?!!??!!  Wow I cannot believe it's here.  I know it's not tomorrow but ugh, I'm getting so nervous.  All these horrible "what if's " are running through my brain.  :(  I just pray they find something, anything.  Anything!!!!  

So that's where we're at.  

OH and I signed up with Compassionate Care to see if we'd get a discount with future IVF meds and they approved us for up to 50% off.  Now I'm not sure if they only have certain meds they give discounts on or how it works really but my cousin's wife told me it helps a lot.  SO here's crossing my fingers.  :D

Baby Noah!!

Feb 09, 2016 - 11 comments

Omgosh it's been Crazy!!! To say the least lol.

My sisters fiancĂ© called around 9:45 Friday night and said "Danielle's water broke, what do I do?". LOL  I said "well you call her doctor and head to the hospital".  So my sister wanted to wait at home as long as possible.  She wanted a natural birth, no meds and it be perfect.  We managed to make it to her house around 10:10 and she had just started having close contractions.  Off to the hospital we go.  She starts contracting harder and faster and was at 3cm  when we got there.  About 20 min passed and bless her heart, she couldn't handle it anymore so she asked for the epidural.  We had to wait 30min after she received it to get to see her.  I forgot my charger in her room so when they started letting 2 go back at a time to see her I was just going to run in get my charger and run out.  I get to her door and I hear "she's ready to push".  What??!!???!!!  Just 30 min after the epidural she went from 3 to 10. Wowza!!  So we all go out, then about 15 min later her fiancĂ© comes out, we can go back and see her.  They had to turn her epidural off because she couldn't feel to push at the time.  So an hour goes by and they're going to try again. Within 3 pushes he was here!!!  He weighed 5lbs and 13 oz.  He was 18 1/2 inches long. He was born at 3:09am.  He's amazing!!!!  She's doing great, he's even better.  They kept them 48 hours and finally got to come home yesterday.  :D  My poor sister has never even held a baby, she never wanted to.  So now it's a whole new world for her.  I know she'll find her groove soon enough though.  

I wound up with a migraine the night she had him. I was going on 36 hours with no sleep. Got home around 7am and tried to sleep.  I had her dog with me so her and sophie wanted to play.  No sleep for Des. Lol.  Dosed off for 2 hours and back up again.  That morning we learned my brother had the flu.  I sat 2 feet from him while we waited for Danielle to have Noah.  :|    Today is Tuesday and I'm still good. :D  Last night my mom was going to stay with my sister to kinda help her since she's breastfeeding and everything.  My mom had to come home last night, she was throwing up and had diarrhea.  Thank God it was just a virus.  Praying sweet Noah doesn't get it.  She stayed away as best as she could once she realized it wasn't just diarrhea.  Anyways, it's been crazy here lol.  But I'm SO thankful Noah is here, he's healthy and amazing and my sister did a wonderful job.  She's great and it couldn't be better than that.  I'm SO in love with this sweet boy!!!  It does make me want my own, even more so now, but I'm so amazed at the love I have for him. I don't want to put him down.  :)  

My Sisters Baby Shower. :)

Jan 24, 2016 - 9 comments

I'm so sorry I haven't updated yet.  You all have been so amazing and asking me how things went.  

The shower went better than I expected.  I think this is partly because I was SO freaking busy getting everything ready, having the crowd come in, eat, play some games and off to opening gifts.  I think I had 2 fruit kabobs is all the time I had to eat anything lol.  She was so happy and it melted my heart!!

I'll upload some pics other than this one.  :D

Dreading/Excited about upcoming baby shower.

Jan 12, 2016 - 18 comments

So my LITTLE BABY sister is just a month away from being due.  Her due date is February 17th and we're having her shower this Saturday.  I can't even begin to describe the emotions I'm having.  I love my sister to death. I was 14 when mom had her and she was like my very own little baby.  She to this day comes to me for advice and talks that she won't even have with our own mom.  Even though it's very emotional at times I wanted to be the one to throw her a baby shower.  I have nieces and nephews through marriage thank God, but I feel different with this being my very own blood nephew.  I cry with excitement and sadness.  I see her body changing, her glow, her excitement with every movement and ultrasound.  I've been there with her every step of the way.  Several doctor appointments, LOTS of ultrasounds (not doctor related, just ones she's paid to have), helping decorate the nursery and NOW planning this shower.  A shower I feel I may never have.  I'm naturally going to feel this way.  I PRAY I have my very own baby shower one day.  

I've done pretty good since her announcing her pregnancy.  I cried for several days after I found out.  I finally sucked it up and tried to get past it.  I've done great up until now.  I'm just an emotional mess.  I know I'll be okay shower day.  Way to much going on to feel sorry for myself, plus I don't want to boohoo at HER shower.  One of the best days of her life.  I am however nervous and worried about when she goes into labor and we see Sweet Noah for the first time.  How will I hold it together?  I just don't see me being able to do it.  HOW do I get through the first several weeks of him being home and everyone oohing and ahhing over him, while I'm around?  I KNOW this is going to happen, she deserves to be proud and have everyone loving him..I just don't know how I'm going to be strong enough emotionally.  I don't want to distance myself from her or him.  Do I just excuse myself and go to the bathroom and come out a blubbering red eye'd mess?  I have anxiety over this as well.   Is it crazy that I don't want anyone seeing me as "That's her sister, the one that can't have kids".   Is it crazy that I don't want them feeling sorry for me?  I DONT WANT TO BE LABELED!!   :(

Saturday is her shower.  We rented a place at Noccalula Falls here in town and it's going to be amazing.  I've been on pinterest like nobody's business and I think it's going to be beautiful.  I've poured my heart and soul in to this shower and I hope she loves it.