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more than frustrated

Apr 14, 2009 - 3 comments



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i had my dr appt today with my PCP.  it was the first time for me walking outside in the rain with my new walker.  I was a bit tense on how it was going to work since my walker has wheels.  I will write about my dr appt in a bit, it was long. i am exhausted. tense. sick and tired of feeling like i am losing my life!  i am tired of being talked down to, talked over.  weather it is when he is trying to help or not.  i am 40 whatever years old i am NOT a kid.  if you want to say something to me talk to me like your wife , not like someone who doesnt know ****.  exhausted, stressed, in pain, scared, lonely for friendship, i mean jeeze i cant get out because of my health so howw the hell am i supposed to make friends?  i have worked thru so much in my life, been thru alot , i have grown, worked my arss off, and now to have all this happen??? we know part of it is fibro, myofascial, but there are things like my speach, walking gait, toothloss, that are unexplanned for now. last year i was driving a truck (18wheeler) with almost a full mouth of teeth, now not even a year later, 5  teeth if lucky because first my fillings fell out, then my teeth cracked, broke, i could walk, run, enjoy my life, now hell no, i have to rely on others and i absolutely hate that!  ya know i dont even know how old i am????? how messed up is that.  I feel stuck!  i cant move on, i cant do ****.  not without help.  what kind of a life is that for me???? for my husband/?? my kids are scared, i miss them so much!  will write more in my journal if there is one, if not i will write about my dr appt in my pain journal.  cause it was umm a pretty screwed up one....btw i took the picture of the cross while i was driving the truck thru texas.  it is the biggest cross in the usa.  

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