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Jun 19, 2010 - 4 comments

Does anyone else ever feel like they're drowning in their own thoughts? I hate summer because I have too much time on my hands and it makes me feel depressed, which is dumb I suppose. This year's just been so stressful and this week's been a relapse of everything.

RANDOM. I love this quote.
"People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that's bull****. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they're afraid to feel it?"

Also, why are people so afraid of change? :\ I don't get it. I mean, yeah, I do get scared at the thought of large revelations per say, but... yeah, I don't know.



Live your life just like a dream without the pain of goodbyes.

He loves me... he loves me not?!

May 28, 2010 - 2 comments

So, there's this guy that I've known for maybe 6 or so months. He was on the bowling team, and we always hung out there. We sat on the bus together for meets and whatnot. Everyone said he liked me. And I liked him.

He asked me to prom.
We went and had a friggin blast!
He was really romantic at prom and stuff... like I was freezing and he cuddled me and gave me his jacket. Annnnnnd slow danced! :P

EVERYONE, I mean EVERYONE says he likes me. He acts like he does, but I don't think he does. lol.

He graduated today. *sadface*


I went to his house after my exam (like 11 am?) and we hung outttt. I kept tickling him because I know his tickly spots :P and he would massage my feet and tickle me and just be goofy. Buuuuttttt here's the thing, he'll be all sweet but then say something like, "Oh you're crazy!" (in a serious tone) Or just be a butt.  

Before I left his house I gave him a realllllllly! big hug and I had my arms around his neck and he lifted me up, and when he put me down I backed up and hit my head against the wall really hard. He kissed my head and made it feel all better, but then two seconds later he was practically pushing me out the door.

What the poop?!

It truly is something...

Apr 21, 2010 - 4 comments

It truly is something when you realize that point in time when everything started to disintegrate.

I haven't been on here in a while, let's update, shall we?

My favorite color's still red.
I haven't written anything in sooo long. :\
I've been more into painting.
I relapsed back into my depression, hard.
I'm desperately trying to find a job.
I'm trying to figure out who my friends are, and who's worth my time.
I don't understand myself.
I need psychotherapy.
My room needs to be cleaned.
When I got home today, I slept. :]
I honestly didn't think my mom could hurt or let me down even further, but I was mistaken.

I don't know what else to say.


Ohio's not for lovers.

Feb 20, 2010 - 2 comments

I need a change in scenery.

So, yesterday: I went to school... I went home for 5 minutes to change... I went to the boys' sectional... I cheered and whatnot from 3 until 10 o'clock... I went home.... I went to bed.

Today: Woke up... went to bowling alley for bus... went to girls' sectional... cried... bowled... cried.... happy!... lost by 5 pins... cried... rode bus home... went to engagement party... partied... went home.... here now.

So, while I was at sectionals, my (ex) best friend texted me, asking if we were still planning on going shopping. I didn't get her text until an hour later because we couldn't have phones.

Conversation: (K= friend, D= me)
K- We still gonna go?
K- ?
D- Sorry just got done with singles. I'm not sure when I'll be home, but yeah, I'm planning on it.
K- w.e
D- Sorry, not my fault I'm stuck at sectionals.
K- Did I say that?
D- "W.e" I gotta go do baker's. ttyl
K- K b****.
D- I'm really sick of you being a b**** to me, seriously.
And from there it got really graphic. In other words, I'm best friend-less.

But I'm really glad my team was there. They're such good friends. Andd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have a date with a senior on Monday. :D!

Mixed day.


I need a hug.