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Last few days

May 11, 2009 - 0 comments

I have been really great, bad sleeping most nights but i can handle that! went to town went to a big supermarket and was totally fine, booked our holiday its going so well :) can't wait to start living again... hope this keeps up im trying to stay positive though!

Today in town

May 02, 2009 - 0 comments

globus hystericus


felt good






social anxiety

had another great day in town today, we took like an hour getting all dressed up and i got so excited, im not sure why maybe the drugs or something, so when we got to town i felt really good and happy, i didn't have my mints which usually makes me feel better but i thought id give it a go since i couldn't find them in the shop. then we went to the market, got out money on my own, and the BIG one!! went to the supermarket which i haven't done in about 3 months or tried in that time! i did it and i was totally fine, felt very nervous id get the swallowing thing so tried to stay calm and keep my mind on the food and people, my throat got tight but i was fine, stood in line at the till and all and paid, i couldn't believe it, i was so happy, then went to another shop, got food and left and went home, i had such a great time all in all i spent about an hour inside in the shops, it was amazing and i am so happy with myself, i feel great  and happy after my two bad days during the week :) :)

Zoo on sunday!

Apr 27, 2009 - 0 comments

so, after my great day in the city saturday, i took another big step and went to the zoo on sunday, it went well, waiting on the train again i was nervous, was with my fiance so felt a bit more nervous im not sure why, but was fine on the train bit nervous and tight throat but sucked some mints and i was ok, walked through the city to the zoo was very very tired after that, got very bad headache and pains so that worried me a bit cos whe walking i was alone till i got to the zoo, but there i sat down and got food so i was ok again, going around was fine, there were people there, at times a lot, but i was totally fine i stayed calm and relaxed and had a great time, later going for lunch in the restaurant i did however get very nervous it was extremely busy so i couldnt order food, i had to get my partner to do it. after we lwft i was fine apart drom being very tired, got the train back and say in the middle of the train with other people and i was fine i did so well and was so proud of what i did! i couldnt believe i did any of it... but those two days will stay with me for a long time, best two days in a long time :)

Today in the city!

Apr 25, 2009 - 2 comments

had a great day today in the city, i started off very nervous, was late for the train so that didnt start well, but got it and was anxious for about 10 minits, then went to sit down the carrage i was in was empty so  was fine and just listened to music that relaxes me and makes me smile, then i got to the city and felt very scared, for some reason when i wear sunglasses i seem to be more relaxed like im looking at it through a tv or something, so i walked into the city and was actually fine, my nerves went away and the fresh air and sun shine made me very happy and relaxed, then i met up with my partner and went for a coffee (not good i no, but it was small!) it felt so weird to be in the city again among people, was the first time in a long time i felt good, and like me again, cos the last time i totally lost it in that exact situation! think its the pills but i no some of it was up to me to, got a second train for 10 minits which was pretty full and i was fine again :) staying here over night now and will go back to town tomorrow and the zoo then home, i really hope it all goes as well as today.. now im here im still very nervous but i think, its ok, i am bound to be after the day i just had, i cant believe i did so much i could cry im so happy..... maybe im getting better... :)