Jan 31, 2011
So far, my pregnancy has been a very, very bumpy road. I've not been able to sit back, relax and enjoy everything like I should. I've not had the supportive partner besides me to help me through the rough patches and my family has been difficult to deal with throughout this whole ordeal. Up until today I wasn't even sure that there would be a home for me and my baby by the time I would go into labor; everywhere I asked I had the door slammed in my face. I've been refused a number of full-time jobs because of my growing belly and have no financial support from anyone. It's been rough, I've had my low lows and very little ups.
Even though all of this has happened, I am thankful. Why? Before my pregnancy I was, to be honest, stupid. Whenever there was an issue between me and family/friends/boyfriend/work I decided to just pack my bags and move, usually to another country. I moved to 5 different countries in the space of 3 years. I put off paying bills, put off studying and put off taking care of having a stable life. I always expected things to turn out fine (and usually they did) and never really worked towards anything. Obviously I regret a lot of those things now, although the experience I've gained by traveling is something I will always take with me and will be able to use. Through my pregnancy I have been forced to turn my life around, a step towards becoming adult I was absolutely ready to take. No, it hasn't been easy. To be honest it has been a really hard, cold and unforgiving lesson that I've learned.
But I have been rewarded. I have turned my life around, stopped putting off everything and anything and started planning ahead. My reward came this morning, through a lady who called me to tell me I've been accepted for a house. Not some one-bedroom place on the fourth floor of a flat without an elevator (that was an option too) but a ground-floor 3-bedroom apartment where I can stay for at least a year. My financial situation is still far from perfect, but I have a plan that is well executable and I think I can be back up on my feet within a year.
Within a month I'll be decorating my own home, putting the baby's room together and worrying about things less essential than money and a roof over my head. I can't wait! I thank my angels daily for giving me the opportunity to change. Like my mom said the other day: the choice to make a better life for yourself can made daily.