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I Have Failed Myself And Medhelp Forums

Jun 22, 2009 - 4 comments

I am back on my pain medication. This time it is being dispensed to me at a much lower dose than before for my back pain and I am not allowed to take my own dose to get high. So there will be no more getting "High" but at the same time I am back using again :( .

I have learned a valuable and hard lesson in the last couple months about drugs and myself. I assure you, soon enough I will be back and battling this again. I will stick around here also to help people out and keep in touch with friends.

At the moment I am trying to quit smoking, so all is not lost. I think more than anything, smoking has negatively affected my life in too many ways. Now I can get back into playing in my soccer league and get my body healthy again.

I have set the recovery date from pain meds for exactly a year from now when me and the people around me can also get clean as well, instead of just me and having to deal with them being around.

Send me messages!! I would love to hear from everybody. I would also love to thank everyone for all the support you have given me and apalogize for failing you.

I'll be back though. They allways come back :)

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897400 tn?1303329148
by ginsa, Jun 22, 2009
You havn't failed anyone. Just don't give up. You have to do this for youself, not anyone else. Don't put additional pressure on yourself by worrying what anyone else thinks. We are all here for you when you are ready to quit.

All the best

Gina

910476 tn?1245881549
by lifespercs, Jun 22, 2009
Hey, stop kicking yourself...you haven't "failed" anyone... I know it's so easy to feel like a failure, but that you are not... Only you know the true situation of your life at the moment, and if this is what you need to do, then do it, and be confident about it...every addicts story is different in some way, and if at this moment, this is what you need to do, then I for one support you in it... I for one know how very hard it can be to live up to the standards of life, while trying to stay clean... I know you will find success in whatever you do...Be confident, no matter how you go around it, it's your decision, and you should embrace it, and just roll with it...Hope to hear from you from time to time...Take care of yourself and may you now be able to play much soccer:)  ~B

Avatar universal
by diamond67, Jun 23, 2009
Dont give up!!!!!!! No one is perfect we fall and then get back up again. Today is my first day on this site and just reading all the messages people post gives me this weird sense of security that I am not the only going through the same things. Im addicted to vicodin and am trying real hard to quit. You are the first person that Ive spoke to on this site. I hope someone writes me back.

Anyway good luck and hang in there.

diamond67

912729 tn?1244665718
by wendy10143, Jun 28, 2009
i also fell back into it after all i been through...this money is so hard to get off your back tomo will start a new clean day cause im out but i think im ready i went to the doc got on all kinds of sych drugs i walked around bumping into walls is that my other option noooooooooo i cant live like that so its another attempt to come clean im not healthy i feel all the same shit you do its easier to hook up to feel normal opposing the sick days its what we done to our self who has to get ou out of this rut.you did it once so did i and when you run out we will be here feeling just as you do failed,hopless it sucks so bad i feel for you i am you we are all addicts trying to get our life back

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