All Journal Entries Journals
Previous | Next

Day 1: Facing down the demon

Jan 22, 2014 - 2 comments

I'm only 8 hours in. Took my last one this morning, read the posts and most say cold turkey is the best way to go, so that's what I'm doing. I want to know why I want the pills. I know I like the way they make me feel like I'm a better person, more talkative, better mom around my kids, why do I feel I need these? Why can't I like who I am, just the way I am, not being high?
The worse is yet to come. I dread it, I am physically ill with the thought of going through wd. I went through this last month, got on this site and got to 7 days, got more pills and gobbled them up. I am in self-hate mode, but I know logically it is the pills talking, that I'm better than this. I'm bigger than this.
no weapon formed against me shall prosper. no, not even this.

Lord, help me.

Comments
Post a Comment
Avatar universal
by Freejen, Jan 22, 2014
You can do this, you have done it before. We can do it together. What was you last withdraw like. What do you take, how many? Just want to see if we are fighting the same demon, Blessings  Blessings.. Blessings.

Avatar universal
by Spike2654, Jan 22, 2014
I have been on oxycodone IR, supposed to take 4 15mg/day, started taking closer to 9 and 10...I'm really hoping that I have built this up to be so awful that it isn't as bad as my mind has made it out to be. my last wd was awful, hence why I'm terrified. only lasted 7 days, but stupidly I was starting to get out of the horrible physical symptoms. I had the runs, depression, anxiety, no sleep, horrible sweats, couldn't sit still but had no energy or mental drive to do anything...

Post a Comment