Feb 05, 2014
I had my first panic/anxiety attack when i was 13. Unfortunately i had smoked weed that day. It was not my first time, and don't worry i dont do it anymore. But we smoked and went on a really hard bike ride through a forest. I felt insane, and it was very scary. ever since that day i have had anxiety daily. I get anxiety attacks and panic attacks very often. I am on a medication called Zoloft for it, and it seems to be helping my attacks. But, everyday i wake up and feel like i am still asleep. I will be sitting in class and feel like im not actually there? That nothing is real. Very often i feel like i have fallen into a deep coma and have no way of telling if i am in one? and that everything is fake, like the weed i smoked that one day put me into a coma, and i never really "woke up" and nothing can wake me up. Its extremely scary and i don't have complete control over my anxiety. But i want too wake up already! i probably just sound paranoid but i am now 16 and it has been 3 years of feeling exactly the same? sometimes i feel like my head is just floating and my body is numb, or like i can feel my blood heating up. I occasionally sleep fine at night. I am in high school so there are nights i am up doing projects and what not. Those certain days i understand that i will not feel "awake" cause lack of sleep.But it is so often i cant even tell a difference from a dream and reality sometimes. I feel like this is one big dream, i am dreaming of me dreaming and living a life.
And it scares me to say this, but i feel like in reality i am sitting in a hospital in a coma and this is all my imagination.
I just want to wake up and live already