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My boys

Feb 13, 2014 - 12 comments

Hi Ladies,

It's been awhile since I wrote anything about my boys,  It's been hard with my mom passing to talk about anything other that that.  However, there has been other things going on and I have a few minutes before I start work so I thought I would try to get this done.  
Back in October I had my boys evaluated by Early Intervention.  I didn't think there was anything specifically wrong with either of them but my best friend who is a nanny thought that they should be doing and saying certain things by that time and she was starting to worry me with it.  I talked to their pediatrician and she advised that she usually waits to the 18 month visit before determining if they should be evaluated but if I wanted to do, it was ok to get it started now.  
Some of my friend's concerns were they were talking or saying 10 to 15 words back then (that was October which they were 17 months then).  I thought it was a little unrealistic because I thought they were still too young but being a first time mother and with her experience I figured she knew what she was talking about.  
The one thing I did notice was a difference between Michael and Alex.  Alex is more focused, willing to sit and play with you, generally catches on so much quicker.  He's not picky with his food, willing to try new things and takes direction pretty well.  Michael on the other hand, is not focused, consistently in motion and picky with trying new foods.  
After they were evaluated in October, it actually took so long to get their therapist in.  They just started in January.  Michael gets OT 1x a week and DI, 2 x a week.  Alex only gets DI once a week.  
They are both doing well with it, however, last week the DI therapist brought a behaviorist to evaluate Michael.  He is recommending that we have a Pediatric Neurologist to take a look at him.  He said just to be sure and have him checked for other issues.  He said not to get overly worried, it could just be he is just delayed in development.  So now we have an appointment next Saturday, the 22nd.  I have no idea what to expect and I'm scared.  That's why I asked if anyone had any experience with it and what you can share with me.  
In the meantime, Alex is saying more words, playing make believe, and generally doing very well.  Michael has tantrums due to his lack of communication but we are working on it with the therapist and they are slowing down since we started a month ago.  He is not saying any real words but babbling up a storm.  He loves peek a boo and love to hear the animal sounds while looking at the book.  He has great eye contact but working on the focusing is what we are working on now.  He does very well with the therapist sitting for 45 minutes (in his booster seat) but following along with her so I'm happy about that.  
So ladies, I've been wanting to share all this with you but its been so difficult with everything going on.  I lost it last week when they suggested taking Michael.  All I could do was cry wishing my mom was here.  I know she would make me feel better.  I felt bad because my dad was here and I know I didn't make him feel better hearing me cry for my mom.  
Anyway, for anyone can share their experiences with me, it would be great.  I've spoken a few times to Donna (Kricket) and she's been very helpful.  
Thank you as always for listening.  
Joann xo

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1351078 tn?1416313146
by retta483, Feb 13, 2014
All my kid's have been differen't in learning . talking,walking etc . my dd talked full on sentences early before 2 and my boys none of them until age 3 my son caden is 4 and just now talking where you can understand him .

I did work in daycare where three little boys could not talk they all three did speech therapy but not until they were 3 to 4 my ped told me at cadens 2 yr apt he was lazy made me mad because all my sons were delayed in speech now they dont shut up lol  it will get better try not to worry .

your moms passing is really new still grief takes a long time to heal from sending prayers your way . :)


961574 tn?1520648103
by mhv, Feb 13, 2014
I wish I had words of wisdom, but I don't.  Cameron says a lot more words then Drake, but I guess I haven't focused on it too much.  They both sit and play blocks... And they can tell you animal sounds and a a few other words...I have just always thought kids develop at different rates.  
I am glad to hear you have caught this issues early, and am interested in hearing more as time progresses.  

1386655 tn?1452097056
by journey2motherhood, Feb 13, 2014
I wasn't worried so much about the words so much because I thought they were just too young.  Alex says a lot of words and Michael just a very few, which I don't understand much. But when I was told they should be saying about 10 words at 15 months I thought they were nuts.  The therapist who evaluated them said no that wasn't true.  They did tell me though they should be able to follow simple directions (at 15 months).  For example, if I said to them, go get your shoes, they should be able to understand that.  First of all, I never asked them that lol so that have been why.  I don't know and how would I know what they should or shouldn't be doing at 15 months, I never had any children before?  But I do know Alex is very quick at picking things up, very quick.  They do both sit and play with the blocks now.  Michael has a harder time sitting for more than two minutes if I'm lucky.  
When my mom was alive, she would tell me "Joann, they are fine."

961574 tn?1520648103
by mhv, Feb 13, 2014
Sounds like she would be right :)

oh girl!!! Get those boys busy!!  I have the kids throw stuff in the trash can, get the wipes for me, help pick up toys before nap and bad, get their sippy cups to get a drink, and put their clothes in the dirty clothes after their baths...little work horses I tell you :). I bet direction  would help michael a lot....maybe??? hahaha.  

I can understand Cami much better then drake.  But he tries.  Cami said balloon, bubby (what she calls drake), all 3 cats names.  Drake says truck, car, ball...but the can both imitate probably 10 or so animals.  

1386655 tn?1452097056
by journey2motherhood, Feb 13, 2014
No, that was at 15 months.  Now, yes, they do help out and those sorts of things. Michael doesn't do any thing like that.  He will get the ball if I ask him to but he doesn't take any directions, this is why he needs the help.    

3233386 tn?1447024695
by mandaszoo, Feb 13, 2014
Joann please try not to worry all children develop differently. I know it is hard when you don't have the experience or your loving mum to reassure you. Also some children are quiet and thoughtful while others are busy and don't want to sit still.
My oldest was very fast learning to walk and get about and loved all words associated with cars, lorries, wheels etc.Very slow to potty train and wet the bed for a long time. My second was always very quiet and would sit for long periods of time playing quietly which was a dream. Very vocal, well behaved , slept well and dry at 15 months. My youngest very active , grumpy  and refused to talk to anyone. Very fast walking and potty training but horrendous night terrors and tantrums.
They are all very bright, happy, kind loving adults. Oldest is training to be a plumber, Second is working as a newly qualified teacher and the youngest is manager of a car parts outlet at just 21.
  Try and relax. You are doing a fantastic job. xxx love and hugs Manda xxx

296076 tn?1371334474
by melimeli, Feb 13, 2014
all 3 of my kids were late to talk.  But now they wont keep quiet!  haha...  Try not to worry.  All children will have strengths and weaknesses and all you can do is encourage and practice.  Praise the good and not worry about the rest.  You are a good mom, you have good instincts and you are doing all you can do.  

961574 tn?1520648103
by mhv, Feb 13, 2014
Oh good :). I was afraid you were doing all the work :). Lol.  Cameron talks more, amd drake follows direction better.  I agree, they each have their own timeline.  

1580318 tn?1550254481
by Shannon79, Feb 13, 2014
I have 2 boys, and they couldn't be more different. Reilly was about 22 months when he finally decided he wanted to start walking. Very late talker too. Impossible to potty train. (You get the idea). Preston on the other hand, he started walking at 11.5 months, already babbling away and starting to try and use words. He understands lots of directions I give him.

What i'm saying is that yes there are guidelines, but ultimately kids develop at their own pace. It's good that you're getting things checked out now to rule anything out. But like the others have said, I wouldn't worry or stress about it.(I know easier said then done).  You're a great mom and you're doing a great job with your boys

973741 tn?1342342773
by specialmom, Feb 13, 2014
Oh I so feel for you and have been where you are.  It's a very anxious time when someone suggests that there needs to be investigation into these types of things with your kids.  I know when I was told this regarding my first son, I was so upset.  First, I wasn't sure what they were talking about.  He was my beautiful baby boy and I didn't see the things they were reporting to me OR I didn't see them as a problem.  I went through with the evaluation but it was a bit inconclusive.  I decided that meant everything was fine!  But by the next year, it was becoming more clear to even me that we needed some sort of diagnosis and intervention.  He was evaluated again and diagnosed with a developmental delay, Sensory Integration Disorder.  

I was really sad and upset at the time because I didn't know what this meant for my child!  He had difficulty in several areas.  He had motor planning issues which caused him to have trouble with fine motor activities, any new activity introduced and even things like chewing his food.  He had classic sensory issues such as picky eating, clothes bothering him, hating to get his hair brushed, an aversion to wet or dirty hands.  But he was a sensory seeker so he was also the kid that wanted to cover his hands in mud (so it was confusing at times) as well as he was in perpetual motion.  he had regulation problems in that he could have a meltdown over what seemed like nothing and then couldn't calm down.  He didn't focus or stay at any task very long at all.  He had social skills issues.  And it just really seemed like a lot.  

I really struggled and then it hit me.  I loved him no matter what.  This didn't change that at all so I just wanted to help him fit in and have a good life.  I embraced everything there was to embrace about his therapy and threw myself into helping him.  I understand how hard that is too with another child to care for as well---  my boys aren't twins but are 15 months apart so very close in age.  My younger son is a trouper and just did what we did.

Once we had a diagnosis, it actually was so wonderful because then I had a direction.  Most of the things they do for sensory are big fun for kids and just took extra effort on my part.  But we did a lot of it and worked on all of his challenges.

He's now 10.  I think most people would be hard pressed to see much different about him from other kids.  He has a processing delay but with a bit of extra time on things, he has straight A's.  he does sports.  he's worked hard to have some good friends (social skills were probably one of the hardest things for him to overcome).  he has decent hand writing.  he's a happy, normal kid.  

But when he was tiny and we were figuring it out, I just felt like that might not be the case.

Now, that is only my story.  And every child and situation is different.  It could be that your son will just jump back on the developmental curve and that's it.  But I wanted to tell you about my son because even IF your son is given a diagnosis of 'something'-------  do not fear.  They do AMAZING things with our kids today.  And a diagnosis when little helps ensure that kids get the best shot at overcoming whatever challenge they have.  All kids have 'something' and mine had a little more than most.  But, he's doing great.  And your son will be great too.  

1386655 tn?1452097056
by journey2motherhood, Feb 15, 2014
Manda, thank you.  I know I keep trying to tell myself not to get nuts over this.  The truth is I really think Michael is ok, just developmentally behind.  He seems to do whatever Alex does about a month later.  My husband pointed this out to me last night.  He said, remember how Alex started to do this last month?  Well now Michael is doing it so maybe he's just a little behind.  
melimeli- That's funny now they won't keep quite! I've had many moms tell me that as well.  Thank you for sharing your story with me too.
mhv -  I know they each have their own timeline, but I think its because the behaviorist said something that it bothers me the most.
Shannon - thank you too for sharing your story with me.  I like that so many of you that have children showed me how each of them did different things at different times.
Special Mom -  I can't thank you enough for sharing your story with me.  It brought tears to my eyes reading this.  I had to read it to my dh and after I finished he said to me, do you see you're not alone and did this make you feel any better?  I have to say it did.  You've been through a lot but I can see that you survived and more importantly your son is doing so well.  
Thank you all so much.  I'm trying to take it one day at a time.  One of things my mom always said to me, was "make your sure you take care of my boys."  I promise you mom I am.

334926 tn?1436811523
by butterflybabies, Feb 15, 2014
My boys are the same way. Aleks doesn't sit still for more then 5min he is on the go playing all the time. While Maks can sit and play quietly for a while. At least until Aleks comes to steal the toy he was playing with. They are now 19 months old and they say around 17 words and make about 5 animal sounds. With they're talking one day Aleks will speak more then Maks. Next day Maks will. Aleks follows direction better then Maks but I think Maks understands more cause when I ask him to do something he shakes his head no and if I make him do it he has a fit. Like mom I said no! Lol. Aleks started walking at 16 months and Maks has just started taking steps. Maks is behind in walking cause he has hyper flexibility. But his doc isn't worried and since they were born 2 month early they get extra time to reach the milestones. And Aleks always did something first and usually with in a month Maks would do it.

My boys were evaluated at 8 months actual, 6 months corrected age and I was told my boys were developing around a 3-5 month old. They evaluated them midday for like 1/2hr and if they didn't see the boys do something they wanted then they didn't believe they could do it even if I told them they could. After that I spoke with my ped and she told me not to go back that she never saw a problem with my boys that sometimes PT forgets that kids learn at different times and don't always follow those so called months that milestones are supposed to happen. And PT gave me a sheet with how to work with the boys at home and funny thing is I was already doing about 80% of the exercises before I went to see them. Anyway I never went back and my boys have met every milestone just at their own pace and even though they met them at later times my boys are doing great.

Maks will go to PT if he's not walking by April though. His flexibility seems less and less and he started letting go of the couch and taking a few steps. I work with him everyday to help him. I've done that they're whole life really. It's like I incorporate these little exercises into our play time so they don't know it's work lol. Anyway just wanted to share our developemental journey with you. Your boys sound a lot like mine.

I'm sure it's hard being a first time mom and not having your mom around to support you in your time of concern. I used to worry about my boys developemental to. But I let that go when I saw that they did do the milestones just at their own pace.
I hope your concerns lessen now with the boys getting some assistance.

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