May 03, 2008
I have just received a letter in the post for an appointment for another MRI scan on a 3T machine this time [Which I have heard by being on this site is the most powerful scanner] and a Visual Evoked Potential [VEP] test. Both on the 20Th of May'08.
I'm glad things are finally happening but I'm a bit nervous. I don't enjoy MRI scans so not looking forward to that plus it just makes me think about things more where as day to day I can sometimes put it all to the back of my mind.
This is mainly because I don't seem to have any symptoms so I can sometimes forget about it. I had Paraesthesia around my spine area for over a year but since taking up yoga I don't get it as much. I mainly just get stiffness in the same area and burning pain when I play my Viola. As for other sensations I do sometimes feel my arms and sometimes my legs feel a little strange or tingly but I really can't be sure if this is physcosamatic or not. I'm definitely more down in mood and stressed but this is probably just the worry of it all. I am more tired than I ever used to be but I have two children under 3 so I put tiredness down to running around after them.
I worry too as I'm a Viola player and I if I do have MS how many years of playing I might have in me and what else I could do if I couldn't play anymore. I'm only good at music so I have no idea what else I could do.
I had a good long think as to whether there was anything in my past that could be connected and yesterday something came to me. About 7 years ago not long after my Dad died suddenly in an accident, I started having funny spells. I described them at the time as dizzy spells or a feeling like almost fainting. It was happening quite a lot but only really when I was either in orchestra when reading the music or when I was driving. I did go and see my Doctor at the time but he just made me feel stupid and later down the line when they seemed to have stopped I put them down to maybe being anxiety attacks due to the stress of losing my Dad.
I will probably write again when I get my test results.