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carpentry excess day

Mar 12, 2014 - 1 comments

Yesterday, I tried to take my lamictal in the evening to see if it made me less tired throughout the day.  It turns out, I forgot to take it until about 1 a.m.  I finally went to bed around 6 a.m., something I haven't done in a long time (unless I'm cramming for a test).  I woke up around 9 to cancel my psych appointment.  By 9:30, all I hear is hammering and banging.  The work crew that removes the carpet was next door ruining my sleep.  It was so loud, I can't even describe it.  So, around 1 I started working on this step stool I have been constructing.  Aside from 15 of those mini pizza roll bite-sized things and a cup of tea, I did not eat all day.  I went to Harbor Freight to return an extension cord and went to Lowes to get more wood.  Other than that, I worked all day straight through to get this thing 95% done.  I built it looking at a picture of some Ikea step-stool.  I just found a picture I had liked on the internet, and tried to make it.  They had basic assembly instructions, which helped me to figure out what types of pieces I should make.  I did chat with a couple of neighbors I had been avoiding due to the sobriety and not really being into their lifestyle in general.  About 5 days ago, I weighed 10 pounds heavier than I do right now- though I was full the first time I weighed myself (last week) and completely foodless and urineless this time.  I didn't have clothes on either time for the weigh in, so I think it's safe to assume I have lost 5 pounds.  I really have only been eating SweetTarts and junk like that.  I'm not even really drinking water, just about 3 cups of hot tea a day.I really do like the tea.  I made my own blend which is my favorite by far.  It is one bag of chamomile tea and one bag of peppermint, candy cane, or whatever minty tea.I happen upon.  Tastes awesome.  I should be eating food though, and not working for 13 hours on a stool.  I'm definitely going to ice my knee now that I remembered what I put it through today kneeling on my porch over a miter saw continuously for hours. On the plus side, this is by far the most intricate, detailed, and best work I have ever done.  The grand total cost was about 7 dollars, since I used very inexpensive 2X1's and a couple of 1X8's I salvaged... Wow, it really is going to look awesome.  I've gotten better at realizing when is time to eat.  Other than ordering food though, which I really can't be spending money on, I have not translated the concern into action.  I do tell people when I haven't eaten.  Usually telling a family member helps, they get me something in my stomach asap.  Problem is, I see a family member maybe two times a month.  I wish I felt hungry or knew what to do about this.  I'm going to try to get some sleep now, before I go full blown hypomanic from not sleeping.

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by JustHelp123, Mar 12, 2014
Well, I did just eat a salad before writing that, though not a lot of healthy things in it other than a few carrots and cherry tomatoes.  I took the best shower ever, it was important because I brought the saw inside my apartment and was cutting arsenic-treated wood by the end there.  My entire apartment looks like a construction site.  I had to bring in the saw to not annoy distant neighbors.  All of my close ones are cool (really just the guy who lives below me).  He came up with a beer and wanted to hang out.  I was conveniently in the last 15 minutes of what I was doing tonight so I declined.  Thank goodness.  He's a gay guy I knew from about 5 years back who used to crush on me really hard.  He was known around my group of friends as a feign and a thief, both very very true.  He tried to make a move on me one day when I was dropping him off, very awkward.  Unfortunately, I told my ex-fling and soon everyone in this group was teasing me about it.  That's what I get for being nice to someone who people were mean and talked negatively to every time he came around.  But yeah, he's weird but we have friendly conversations outside the apartment.  I've never invited him for more than a second or so and not really hung out or been in his apartment.  Total weirdo, and he pretends that night never happened.  Mmm okay.  My ex-fling knew he was going to make a move and was trying to make it clear I was definitely into girls, as demonstrated in our fling.  I wanted to date her, but she pretty much played me for a fool-- and I played the part.  Fortunately, I am no longer around that original group-- all those people were kind of snarky and I never really felt like I fit in.  They were all dumb.  Literally.  They were just the only people that I knew that partied harder than I did, though their lives seemed very sad and repetitive.  Being that I have a very hard time making friends, they were pretty much some of my only 'friends' for a long time.

Okay, I'm sensing the ramble.

But yeah, I don't like this gay guy below me trying to get closer.  Why do you offer me a beer and then after telling you I'm almost 6 months sober, come up to my apartment at 12 midnight with a beer in your hand trying to hang out?

I already told him the deal with me not wanting alcohol in my apartment.  Even with family, I just don't feel comfortable with it being drunk in front of me in my own home.  I do have a bottle of Marsala wine in my cupboard for cooking, that I've pretty much forgot about for months until now.  Not tempted by that ever ever ever.  I have a headache from being up.  But yeah my only social interaction the last 3 days has been with this neighbor pretty much, so I'm obsessed with saying I don't really want him around.  I'm trying to be polite while keeping him at arms length.  I have made it my policy to not be friends with neighbors, just friendly.  It is much easier to ask someone who isn't a quasi-friend to be quieter or other things.  If I wanted someone to hang out with constantly, I would live with a roommate.  Some people do not get it.

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