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Alcoholics Anonymous

Mar 17, 2014 - 0 comments

Today, I got to leave my P.E. class at school early, since I can't participate in much with the torn ACL.  I was laying around and checked the area's AA site.  It was about 2 minutes till a meeting.  I searched for another, and found an "open" meeting, which had the invitation for new guests to come.  I decided I wanted to try to go.  With about 30 minutes till the meeting, I thought about skipping it and postponing it-- something I had done many times before.  I found myself moving off my bed, and at that moment I knew I was going-- the next step in my sobriety was occurring.  I imagined myself leaving school and having no support system in place... the usual "let things slowly fall apart" thing.  I decided I wasn't going to let this happen today.  I went.  I really enjoyed it, and was happy to be invited up to receive my 6 month chip!  I didn't share at all.  I was sort of overwhelmed by there being about 30-40 people there.  Everyone was very nice to me.  Not the crowd I expected.. The guy who I first introduced myself to at the door sat beside me and was very nice.  He told me a bit of his story, which was great to hear.  It made me feel better about being there.  We laughed a lot, some of the people were pretty funny.  I enjoyed myself, and think I will be returning.  I feel as though this really might be the next step in my sobriety.  I already felt more at home than I do at my normal group therapy.  I did open up quite a bit in my school's group therapy today about my perception of mental illness in the world-- as well as my experiences with bipolar's lows, how I finally got diagnosed, and what alcohol and drugs did along the way.  My favorite part was revealing how I used to view people without alcohol as missing out on something.  Now, I see that I was the one who was missing out on something-- I won't say I'm 100% not jealous of some aspects of their drinking and using drugs, but I have much more to lose than gain by drinking or using drugs now.

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