Mar 17, 2014
Today, I got to leave my P.E. class at school early, since I can't participate in much with the torn ACL. I was laying around and checked the area's AA site. It was about 2 minutes till a meeting. I searched for another, and found an "open" meeting, which had the invitation for new guests to come. I decided I wanted to try to go. With about 30 minutes till the meeting, I thought about skipping it and postponing it-- something I had done many times before. I found myself moving off my bed, and at that moment I knew I was going-- the next step in my sobriety was occurring. I imagined myself leaving school and having no support system in place... the usual "let things slowly fall apart" thing. I decided I wasn't going to let this happen today. I went. I really enjoyed it, and was happy to be invited up to receive my 6 month chip! I didn't share at all. I was sort of overwhelmed by there being about 30-40 people there. Everyone was very nice to me. Not the crowd I expected.. The guy who I first introduced myself to at the door sat beside me and was very nice. He told me a bit of his story, which was great to hear. It made me feel better about being there. We laughed a lot, some of the people were pretty funny. I enjoyed myself, and think I will be returning. I feel as though this really might be the next step in my sobriety. I already felt more at home than I do at my normal group therapy. I did open up quite a bit in my school's group therapy today about my perception of mental illness in the world-- as well as my experiences with bipolar's lows, how I finally got diagnosed, and what alcohol and drugs did along the way. My favorite part was revealing how I used to view people without alcohol as missing out on something. Now, I see that I was the one who was missing out on something-- I won't say I'm 100% not jealous of some aspects of their drinking and using drugs, but I have much more to lose than gain by drinking or using drugs now.