May 07, 2008
i am just extremely bummed out today, cant get myself out of it. sinking into what feels like a depression. prepare for a lot of whining! lol no im sure i will feel better tomorrow, i get like this from time to time and im sure everyone does. I dont want to listen to anything but sad music, cry, and clean. it feels like everything just needs to be washed and scrubbed and completely just UGHHH! so, i guess its because Randy has been gone for longer than im used to it, I have nobody to talk to, and I miss my family. My neice who ive never seen but in pictures is turning 1 tomorrow. I cant believe I am missing it, I havent even been able to hold her. im just so sad. i miss my husband. i dont know how anyone is expected to live like this. our daughters miss him. and these are things i normally handle very well, but today has kicked my butt! i think i have been talking to myself in a negative voice today.