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Lack of Motivation

Mar 23, 2014 - 7 comments

I wish it was easier to motivate yourself... I HAVE GIVEN UP ON SCHOOL. To be honest, I never thought the me- the girl who worked her *** off for an A grade in school- would every stop studying and suddenly not be bothered anymore. I don't see how I have any chance of getting anywhere in school. I don't have any goals, so there is really no point, is there? I want to motivate myself, but I can't, no matter how hard I try. And I honestly hate myself for it, for letting myself get to here, but all I want to do is be locked up in my room and waste my time. I'm such an idiot for giving up, but now that I have, starting over isn't really an option... So what do I do? Just let it be... Let myself fall deeper and deeper into the hole of nothing- no motivation, inspiration, no hard work- , nothing. I care, but at the same time I don't... If that makes sense?
If only there were  quotes that would keep me motivated... :/

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3060903 tn?1398568723
by Nighthawk61, Mar 24, 2014
1) Make an appointment with the career counselor at your school..
2) Tell them that getting good marks motivated you before, but no longer does. You're not currently motivated to get good grades to get you into a college or university because you have no idea what type of career you may want. (They will ask you if there's anything going on at home that could be the cause of your grades slipping). You've told me that that's not the reason, so be pragmatic and don't allow yourself to go off topic
3) Ask them is there's a test to see what types of careers might interest you.
4) Take a test to see what types of careers  might be of interest to you.
3) Make entrance into secondary school your goal.

The reality is, it's pretty easy to get A's and B's in middle school, and purposely in high school, not so much. Kid's are being separated into groups in high school. There's lot's of kids that fall off in high school because it's too hard for them to get A'ls and B's anymore, and getting a B instead of their usual A, or a C instead of their usual B is difficult to get used to. They may no longer feel "special" and this catapults them further down the food chain. Now, since they're depressed , instead of an A, they get a C, instead of a B, they get D's. A couple of years of that, and they're ready to quit school altogether are left a high school drop out. I think this is what's happening to you. You skipped reading a novel to go and play tennis this weekend. I think you need to re prioritize your life IF you come to the decision that you DO want to take advantage of a post secondary education.

Also, you mentioned that a teacher's aid read a poem, and asked that you enter into a competition. You were walking on air, but how long did that last? Did you even submit it yet  (if you are able) ? It sounds like you may be suffering from depression. It sounds like you need to have constant adult approval, or you're not happy. That this is where you derive your sense of accomplishment, only when an adult is rewarding you with attention. Well, there's not that kind of attention given when you're fighting for an education. You have to fight to keep your marks up, because it's the right thing to do, to work to your potential. Do mother's and father's get a slap on the back every night after looking after their kids and working all day? There are many unsung heroes honey, That's why we must learn how to commend ourselves and our loved ones as often as we can and always think good thoughts, not negative ones.

Do you think you should see a doctor for depression?

4059843 tn?1541422896
by mishymoshymarcy, Mar 24, 2014
You have any good points that you are showing me Liz... But as with the 'depression', its not like I am constantly feeling like I want to cry, or constantly having thoughts of dying and all that. Arent those the main symptoms of depression? I feel like I don't care and like I can't motivate myself, yes, but not like I am afraid that I am going to do a something terrible to myself... Could I still have depression? I mean honestly, I have thought recently that I may have it, seeing I was feeling really down all the time before.. But at the moment I am not. Maybe that's because I skipped school today. Well I did ask mum if I could stay back to read a book that I had to catch up on, and I was going to do it... I had it all in my mind "Marcy, you are going to read all day until you finish the book, then you are going to congratulate yourself for actually doing something".. Turns out, 7 hours later, hadn't even picked up the book yet. Just another stupid waste of a day...

You couldn't be more correct Liz. I do need constant adult approval and attention to be happy. And yes I did submit it, and I want to submit another, but still am choosing which.

And I do want to be happy again, and want to be smart again, and want to do well in school again...... I really do. But I have hit rock bottom and am doing nothing with my life, and am doing bad in school. and I know I am going to work even harder than I was before to be able to get myself back on track... That's what I am scared of, it wont happen overnight... I'll have to expect satisfactory marks, until I get better... But that time in between... Where I continue to feel like an idiot... That's what I don't want to go through. Even if I know that I am working hard towards getting better.

Oh and I have to do work experience this year, in September. I am so terrified! I honestly do not want to do it. I just need another year.. yeah I will be behind everyone else, but I can't juggle school work and a part time job at the same time.. I cant do it... And I don't think I will do it....

I'm not sure what to do at the moment...

3060903 tn?1398568723
by Nighthawk61, Mar 26, 2014
I don't see you as "trying hard towards getting better" should have read your book on the week end and gone to school. You really need to do some growing up dear. You talk about the teacher's repeating themselves telling you to commit yourself to your homework, saying it's all blah blah blah, like they are boorish, and yet, what you're saying each and every time a caring adult tries to help you to help yourself yet you resort to your own brand of blah blah blah. Bottom line you refuse to do the things that people are trying to support you, help you into doing. You're goal should be to follow directions so that you can enter post secondary school. You need to keep it simple. You're making everything much more complicated than it actually is. Do the work, get the rewards.

You say that you got no rewards towing the line, and being responsible. and you say you may be "looking for attention", but, the attention you're going to be given will be from the perspective of people seeing you as not trying, and being lazy. Maybe it's depression that's motivating you, maybe it's laziness, but the bottom line is, the results are the same. You're going to be progressively more and more depressed and embarrassed the further down you allow yourself to go.

You need to motivate yourself to do your homework. You say there's no quotes for that. There's millions of quotes for that. You need only look. Do you think you need a whole bunch of adults searching out quotes that might motivate you? That's not how it works. Generally , in life, it is by your own action that makes thing happen for yourself.

The guidance teachers want you to do your homework, rather than skip a grade. The point is, that skipping a grade is not going to is not going to motivate you to do the homework. If you continue to ditch your homework you'll be failed and will have to repeat your courses, one or all. The answer is to do your homework.

Are you able to sleep? Should you be talking to a doctor about getting into a routine that will have you falling asleep so that you're more rested for the days ahead? Maybe get in an hour of exercise so you can sleep better? Have more adrenaline, be happier by letting loose some endorphins?

I would imagine your mom isn't jumping at the chance to have you diagnosed with depression because with that diagnosis often comes years of hit and miss pharmeceuticals and years of adjusting meds. For the same reason your teachers want you to "work" to get out of this tailspin, it is wise to make changes in your life before you set yourself up to labeling yourself with depression. Like myself. My doctor told me I was diabetic and started to write up a host of medications (that all have negative side effects  - as ALL drugs do ~) I told her no, I would reverse my diabetes. I lost 30 lbs and reversed my diabetes , case closed. Keeping it simple , staying away from pharmeceuticals, doing the work (I tested my blood before every meal and snack for months). to ACHIEVE the desired result with the least side effects.

You say that you could do the work, but that when you did the work before you didn't get enough out of it. Now the results are going to start to show themselves, failing grades, teacher's conferences, Either you are capable of changing the way things are going for you, or you're not..If you are, then simply do your work. If not, then accept the help that happens when a teen starts to fail. Please try to be grateful that you have a mom that cares to go to your teacher's conferences.

I read your other post, and I'm sorry that you wanted to do nothing rather than study for the two tests you failed. Maybe the embarrassment might motivate you into doing your homework next time it's due? Usually this is the case with kids that try to skate by in high school without doing the work. So, I think it's a good thing that you failed those two papers, and your mom is going to try to help you by going and conversing with your teachers. It's what needs to happen. This time, instead of passing this off as blah blah blah, maybe try to be humble enough to really listen and take some advice? Without humility, we are doomed.

You can get out of this descent into hell, if you choose.

4059843 tn?1541422896
by mishymoshymarcy, Mar 26, 2014
I refuse to put the advice everyone gives me into action because I cant. My mind tells me otherwise. Am I depressed, I don't know? Do I just want to give up, yes. I don't even know what I want anymore, why I feel the way I do... What if it turns out that I don't have depression, then people will think that all this has been an act, that all I want is attention. BUt would someone harm themselves and do all these other things to make herself worse, just because she wants attention? Or is there something else...?
Liz, its as if that's where I want to go.. I want to sink and be more and more depressed.. I just want to cry right now... Its not like I am suicidal or want to die, I just want to curl up into a ball and waste my life... Because that is what my mind telling me, and im obeying it.
I cant make changes... Its like I wont let myself....

Okay ill try Liz... Ill try..

3060903 tn?1398568723
by Nighthawk61, Mar 26, 2014
IF you can't do it alone, it sounds like you need to talk to a psychologist Marcy,about wanting to do the right things for yourself.

A guidance counselor is for making goals for yourself. A psychologist is for talking about what's holding you back and why. It sounds like you need to get to see some professionals, Your mom should be able to help you do that. Thank God for Moms huh?

Listen, stop thinking so much. Stop your mind from continuing down the road of negativity. When you say something, or write something negative , overwrite it with something positive.

When I get a errant negative thought, I say **** Off (to the devil) and replace it with thoughts of kittens and puppies. Sound lame? it works.

3060903 tn?1398568723
by Nighthawk61, Mar 26, 2014
Okay sweety, I'm off to bed. I'll talk to you later. okay? Try to change your mindset. Instead of saying I can't say I can. It really is as simple as that. Alcohol cigarettes and drugs only make things worse. If you think you're unhappy now, wait till you have some bad habits to deal with. on top of losing every stitch of hope for a future.

Please Marcy try not to be stubborn and be a responsible person. There's no reward taking the wrong path, only heartache, and life is too short. You can stop yourself from getting cancer, if you eat the right food. You can move forward through these trials if you talk to the right people. If you never pick up a drink/drug/cig, you'll never miss them. If you use alcohol to escape you will become an alcoholic. Maybe you should look at the Alcholism forum for a bit, and see if that's what you want to do with your life.?

i'll be praying for you Marcy. and talk to you later.

4059843 tn?1541422896
by mishymoshymarcy, Mar 26, 2014
I do talk to someone. Once a week though... BUt  I guess my problem isn't serious enough to go more often.. I am actually seeing her tomorrow... Thanks Liz. Yes I know all those things will make me worse... I wont do it, its okay. :)

I'll try to think positive... I promise ill try.
Goodnight Liz, sweet dreams. xx

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