Jul 08, 2009
have been so much better since sunday, when i started practicing yoga at my new studio. i realized that i need to forgive myself for all those years of bikram yoga, thinking that i was doing something good for my body when really i was just creating adrenal exhaustion and probably at least contributing to, if not creating, the hormonal imbalances i am now working to correct.
but all is well. i am back to my yoga roots and i have every confidence in the world that returning to what i consider to be a true yoga practice-- one that includes pranayama, meditation, chanting, bandhas, mudras, etc-- is already helping to balance me out physically, emotionally, hormonally. i am re-learning how to use pranayama to heat the body throughout my practice, rather than being dependent upon heaters and humidifiers!
on monday i figured out that a lot of the weepiness i've been feeling is delayed grieving from my miscarriage. so i am simply allowing myself to feel whatever i feel, and already i have felt calmer, knowing that all of this is normal, and there really is nothing "wrong" with me physically or emotionally that cannot be rebalanced.
after three days of practice in a row, i am leaning heavily towards taking a day or two off, not that i want to, but i am pretty sore! it feels great though, again-- knowing that what i am doing now for my body is healthy. i might just get on my mat at home for a bit of gentle practice, since i do have to work this afternoon.
today's day 27 and i might not get my period until day 30 or 31, so i am just going to try not to stress about it or check for it until sunday. last month i drove myself nuts fretting over it. this time i just intend to breathe through it, distract myself however i need to, and focus my attention elsewhere. wish me luck. ;)