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My oldest sister... passed last night

May 08, 2008 - 17 comments

My oldest sister's name is Katy. She was 31 yrs old, has a son named Kane who is 12 and a daughter named Gracie who turned one today, the day my sister and her mother passed away. I am flying to TX to be with my family and say goodbye to her. I just got the news this morning and i have been trying to figure out my feelings all day long... its like a bad dream. first im angry, then torn apart, then just blank, i dont even know any more. Im not sure what happened, supposedly she died in her sleep but her husband wont tell us if she had taken pills or not... she had an addiction. she was supposed to be off of them last i checked she was. i should have checked more. but the investigator will find out im sure. They just sat down and told my nephew, hes ok for right now. i think like me he doesnt know how to take it yet. One person for sure I am deeply worried about is my Dad. He cant talk, he walked out side to sit by the lake when they found out at 6am and hasnt moved. hes crying, holding his head, and my mother and sister say they have never heard anything so horrible in their lives as his cries. My God please pray for me and my family and my sister, that she is in peace and that we all can pull through this. how do we even begin to heal? what is there to say to my dad? that was his first baby and he always always always was reaching out to her. offering to have her move back in with him and that he would take care of everything but she just couldnt get rid of those men in her life and the drugs. I know his heart is crushed beyond repair and i am dreading seeing the look on his face tonight. please just pray. thank you for reading

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290018 tn?1240365868
by rachie204, May 08, 2008
oh sweetie, nothing i can say right now will be of comfort to you or your family but know that you are all in my prayers, may God give your family comfort and a peace that surpasses all understanding.  

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by Jenny100, May 08, 2008
Oh hon how horrible!!!! I am so very sorry for what you are going through. Her poor children. Your poor family. I will stop right now and pray for you all to have strength to make it through. What a sad story----Your poor dad. Thats a parents worst nightmare---to have your children pass before you.
I am so sorry to hear this news.

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by mami1323, May 08, 2008
I'm so sorry for your loss and your family's loss.  My condolensces to you and your family and we are all here for you.

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by natemomma27, May 08, 2008
im at a loss of word, but just know that you and your family are in my prayers

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by stilljohnsmom, May 08, 2008
Dear love to be mommy. I love to be Mommy to my only son who now is 26. We are always Mom's and Dad's to our kids no matter how old they are.
I'm so very sorry for your loss and will certainly pray for your family for healing.
Please don't punish yourself, don't dwell on what may or may not have happened. You must remember that your sister was an adult and chose her path, however I know that you and your folks will feel guilty or that you could have done more for her. I'm sure you did the best that you could have to help your sister, but we go on living, you have your children, your own responsibilies and can only take on so much.
I know you are hurting. Your Dad is expressing his grief in his way. I'm sure your Mom or any other siblings are expressing there grief in there own way.
The only thing that you really can do right now is give your love and hopefully your Dad especially will in time concentrate on the ones that are with us now. Sitting with your Dad and praying with him, and your Mom or anyone for that matter that loved and cared for your sister is my best advice.
There is a grief process and perhaps your Dad sitting alone is his most comforting way to go through it. I'm not a scholar or trying to intrude.
I have a twin sister and can't imagine the pain you all are going through. Maybe going to your Dad as he sits on the bench and asking him if you can sit with him, maybe in silence, I don't know. Maybe you could just hold him and let him feel comforted that none of this was his fault and you are going through the pain as well.
Give your family time and time for yourself to come to terms with your loss. Your Mother's worried sick of your father and might not be able to express her own pain being so worried about your Dad.
I'm just writing here. It's just what is coming to my mind at the time.
If I can help you, need to write to someone, or even email me, it's ok. I don't mind being a sounding board.
My name is Heather and my email is ***@****  

My prayers are with you all.

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by swampcritter, May 08, 2008
Your father is going through intense grief, and its possible that he will feel guilt and failure. There is nothing wrong with these feelings, it is our nature as human beings to try to make sense of things, to view life as under our control.

Make sure your father continues to eat, and go through the motions of life. He will be detached, possibly uninterested. Show him you love him, show him you understand.

Swampcritter is deeply moved by your entry, and is very sorry to hear of your loss.

494527 tn?1211410028
by baby30518, May 08, 2008
i am so sorry and i wish there was something i could do for you but the only thing you can do is tell you too take it one day at a time.sorry your in my prays

Avatar universal
by grammy64, May 08, 2008
I am so sorry.  You and your family are in my thoughts.

Hugs,
Lori

Avatar universal
by toi_30, May 09, 2008
Sorry to hear about your sis, May god continue to shine his grace upon you all.

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by stilljohnsmom, May 09, 2008
How are you doing today? How's your Mom and Dad doing?
Still going to pray for all.

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by Lalasoto, May 14, 2008
Oh sweetie, I just read your post. I haven't been on-line so I'm sorry this is a little late. I am praying for you, your Dad, your sister, her kids and all of your family. I pray God will give you comfort in this time of great loss. Know that God is with you at your side and that he will never forsake you. God be with you and I will continue my prayers, especially for your sister and that she is at peace.

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by gen584, May 16, 2008
Hey hun I read ur post a couple of days ago and I write peoms some what I wrote one for u. Do u mind if I post here for u .

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by Gina209, Jun 03, 2008
I am so truly sorry about your sister...just know that all my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this extremely difficult time...my heart cries for you all. I'm so sorry...

Avatar universal
by JoyRenee, Jun 03, 2008
There are no words to express how incredibly sad I feel, especially hearing how your dad is handling it. All I can do is give you an E-HUG and tell you how sorry I am that this has happened and I hope you get answers soon! And I want you to know that everyone grieves differently. Don't beat yourself up if you're not crying, or if you numb/indifferent. That doesn't mean you don't care!

Joy

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by evthing4reason, Jun 04, 2008
I am so sorry for your loss, and for kane and gracie who lost their mommy.

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by StressHead, Jun 04, 2008
I'm sorry for your loss :(

Avatar universal
by Hales20, Jun 04, 2008
I am sorry for you and your family's loss. May God be with you all xx

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