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Crazy...Crazy for feeling this way...

Jul 09, 2009 - 6 comments

So, I wish that I had an u/s machine here. I want to see my baby everyday. I want to know that he/she is still dancing and happy and all is good!  I know, I know, I know that it is...but if I were alive when Jesus was, I'd be known as "Doubting Thomas". Not something that I am proud of, mind you, but something that I have just accepted as a part of who I am.

I like concrete evidence. I like to see with my own eyes.

I asked the doctor about the doppler and she strongly advised against it (which I knew she would) and DH is adamant that we aren't getting anything that is going to even POSSIBLY cause me stress. Heck, he didn't like that I started crying while watching "America's Got Talent" the other day....helllllloooo??? hormones???? I'm gonna cry at Charmin commercials!!

He thinks that me getting upset gets the baby upset.  Dorky, but sweet! Plus, I am being spoiled right now, which is a nice plus!

But I feel great today and of course, I was fine for awhile with it....getting things done. Eating. Basic enjoyments of life ;), but then I started wondering.....(always the first step in a long process of mistakes!)

What if the u/s caused a problem? What if I did something when trying to get comfortable last night? What if I stretched too far, too hard?

Stupid and crazy, I know. But at least, I know that I'm still me ;)

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525485 tn?1314361301
by Lance06, Jul 09, 2009
We are all in the same boat....every day is a waiting game...however, every day is one step closer to meeting those little peanuts living inside of us!

hang in there girl..and know that you are NOT alone.

216278 tn?1308861082
by wanting4#1, Jul 09, 2009
Thanks, Stephanie....rightbackatcha ;)

229760 tn?1291467870
by rdh1981, Jul 09, 2009
You are not are a very normal pregnant woman!! We all live in these fears. Heck I still worry about Cruz as he is sitting inside of me pushing all of his body parts out so hard it makes me yelp!!!!!!! (he is actually doing at this very minute) But do I worry....yep all the time! If I could have a u/s machine at home I would use it all the time and never have any contact with the world!!!!!!!! My dh and doctor both said that the doppler was not a good idea, just a lot of extra stress!!!

As for crying during America's Got Talent that is just your wacky hormones. They will eventually slow down and you will feel a little more normal then!!!!!

I am not going to tell you stop worrying, because I would be talking out of both sides of my mouth. But I will tell this, just trust that everything will be okay!

I am here whenever you need to talk about your craziness!!!!!

big hugs,

216278 tn?1308861082
by wanting4#1, Jul 09, 2009
Thanks, Rachel!  It does help to be able to just get it out...I almost instantly 'let go of it' once it's off my mind! I appreciate you being there for me. I talk about all of you to everyone I know...(they probably think I'm crazy), but I truly think of all of you as my friends and just don't know how I'd get through all of this without you!

Big Hugs to you, too,

229760 tn?1291467870
by rdh1981, Jul 09, 2009
Glad to help!!!! It is amazing how much relief we get when we can let it out and then actually have people totally understand what we are going through!!!!!

Don't feel bad I refer to all of you guys to as my friends!!!!!! My MH buddies are always there for me and that is always such a comforting feeling. It is good to know that we are not alone in our craziness!!!!!!

Like I said feel free to vent away! Pat your belly for me!!!!!


377493 tn?1356502149
by adgal, Jul 12, 2009
Hmmm, are you sure you and I aren't actually twins seperated at birth?  I could have written that journal entry myself, word for word.  I actually asked my OB if there was any way to schedule a daily  She gave in at 1 every 3 weeks.

You are not crazy at all.  What you are going through is normal, but just keep telling yourself....2 weeks to safety zone!!!  It's so close and will fly by.  I know how stressful this all is, but we are going to get through it, we really are.  And before we know it we'll be up all night with feedings and diaper changes and snuggling those little babies in our arms.  It's going to be ok.

Oh, and I always talk about my MedHelp friends.  So many of you have gotten me through some of the roughest times I have experienced. You could all relate and understand, whereas the majority of my friends in my "real life" try, but can' possibly understand what this journey has been like.  It's great to have a support system like this, so if your crazy for feeling that way, then Lisa I am downright certifiable!!!!!!

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