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Up, down, up, down ... repeat.

Jul 10, 2009 - 3 comments
Tags:

repeat

,

down

,

sleep

,

Crying

,

pills

,

people

,

acting

,

pill

,

suicide

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times

,

mania

,

plan



Finances are rough and I'm on a billion pills.  But without them, I can't function in society.  

The last time I was at the bay, I wrote about suicide plans.  Colby found it, copied it, and gave it to R and D.  R confronted me about it, cried, whined ... I told her that it was private and that was why she was crying.  I told her I was able to sympathize with her, but that she needed to understand people write things to get them out rather than acting upon them.  She's basically forgotten about it already, which, of course, was expected.  

MANIA.  It just will not give me a break.  Can't sleep either.

Since I talk to J so much, I don't really use this site.  But I thought I'd update it a bit anyway.

Comments
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784558 tn?1276007829
by gofio, Jul 10, 2009
You have lots to contend with, which aspect is the most troublesome?Anxiety's my worst, can cope with my manias, they often have helped when I needed to do something that was at the limits of my endurance, or when persuing something I've been 'locked onto', but it does cause some problems ~ I don't want to lose them, they're part of my personality. But meds are needed to enable me to function/sleep. Ignoring the unwanted aspects of side effects, but am willing to trade them for the benefits. Am at the opposite end of the age scale to you ~ hope that you find some way of managing to get your life back together & feel happy again long term. Lots of people on here seem to know how to get help without cash in US. Maybe one will give you the necessary info. for you to get it. Hang on in, best wishes, George

765828 tn?1306263868
by hyeyung, Jul 10, 2009
There's too many to count.  I can't say what I can cope with and what I can't.  By cope, do you mean pushing everything bad that's ever happened to you aside and be forced to take responsibility for your seriously insane sister?  Then, yes, I cope with just about everything.  I was never allowed to express any emotion.  As if I didn't fit in enough, I was picked on and I am very sensitive, but it's all hidden.  I'm basically a masochist.  I know that I don't deserve something, but I take it as it is anyway because it feels more scary than accepting the good.  Don't get me wrong - I'm working on it.  However whatever the reality may be, it doesn't always mean you can look at it like that.  The sky feels purple even though you know it's blue.  



Avatar universal
by aseret, Jul 10, 2009
i feel you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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