All Journal Entries Journals
Previous | Next

phentermine abuse adolescent

Apr 02, 2014 - 0 comments


I'm 15 and I used to abuse phentermine. My mom was taking it, and I found a medical book and I looked it up and saw that you could get high from it. Every weekend, I would take 8 out of her bottle, and eat em all up.. I couldn't sleep for days on end.. I had to sit in one spot, and I couldn't drink water even, or else I would throw it back up. Once, I got up, to walk into the living room, and my mom was standing there, I said something, then turned around and passed out. I just told her that I fell because I didn't want her to worry or find out that I had been taking her medicine. I was developing these circles under my eyes, and I couldn't stand up, without getting really lightheaded. I had to stand up half way, then sit back down, and then I could stand up so that I could get used to my heart beating. It would beat really loudly, and when I stood up, I heard very loud static like sounds, and my heart felt like it was gonna explode. My phentermine abuse went on for about 1 and a 1/2 months. All my friends became worried about me, and I was starting to become very distant. I didn't talk to anyone, and when I had tried to quit, myself, I would be very irritable and lash out. So I decided I would take one more, because I couldn't quit cold turkey, and sure enough, the cycle began all over again. I couldn't go longer than 2 days without taking some pills, and when I didn't have any, I completely panicked and I would have 3 or 4 anxiety attacks every day I went without them. Pretty soon, I only had one friend left, and I wasn't in my right mind,, I began pushing him to do pills with me. He did, and I feel so guilty about it. My drug counselor, and my psychologist, think I should go to rehab, but I don't want to go. I had to be detoxed for a week in another county and it was getting better. I was given medicine for my cravings, and anxiety, and I gained back the weight I lost. (I lost 30 lbs, in nearly 60 days) I began going to N/A and a drug counseling class, at my school, but the day before my 30th clean, I took some more. I've began the cycle all over again. A part of me knows I need help, and I need to straighten out, but the other half wants to keep acting up, and running off, and stealing to get some klonopin or adderall when I can't have my speed. I am high right now writing this.. I really wish I could get help. I try and I try, but it doesn't help. :/ I got to the point, where I was peeing blood, and I wasn't even on my period. I was constantly moving when I was off the pills, and I lie, and do a lot of bad stuff just for one pill. Before I came across the pills, I had never smoked, never drank, never snuck around, and I was a really good kid. I used to be respectful, and sweet but I completely changed the second I swallowed that pill. Now, I'm doing everything I never thought I would, I've became everything I've never wanted to be, and it is so much easier to take a pill and call it quits then to out in all this effort, but I know in the long run, it will be worth it. I just need to pull myself to the position of getting and accepting help

Post a Comment