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I've been doing really well

Jul 16, 2009 - 0 comments
Tags:

meds

,

night

,

eight pills

,

mosquito

,

crochet

,

hat

,

shoes

,

dollfie

,

Acedia

,

driving hour

,

observation hour

,

3rd hour

,

mom

,

Mall

,

doll purse

,

CVS

,

sweatshirt

,

clothes

,

steve

,

present

,

Grand Theft Auto- San Andreas

,

drunk driving

,

jacob DE

,

cigarette

,

Smoking

,

marlboro 100's

,

marlboro reds

,

Josh

,

lake

,

saturday

,

Horseback riding

,

ziplining

,

surgery

,

prednisone

,

pink medicine

,

Kidney infection

,

dad

,

jon

,

McDonalds

,

Furby toy

,

Resperidone

,

the dark



taking all of my meds at night. It's so much easier being able to pop all eight pills at once.

A bug bit me at some point on the arm, and I know I'm a whiner but they always seem to get me! I never notice. It's all warm and swelled up to the shape of a strange banjo. Itchy. Tsk tsk.

So, around one this morning (1 1/2 hours  ago) I was struck with the urge to relearn to crochet! Went upstairs, found some yarn and a needle, and got to work. I was making a hat for my doll. But uh, she has a huge melon head and the hat only came out big enough for my thumb, so I just kept going as was and made her a shoe. Yes, one shoe. Now I'm attempting hat again, because it really was just luck that I actually achieved shoe, and not silly blob. I also need to finish sewing her dress- she looks rather silly in it all pinned up.

I had a driving hour in the morning. Driving on hills and all that mumbo jumbo. That feels like a world ago. I had a different teacher, and he made me really nervous, because  he had a lot of critique, so I because even worse of a driver, and blah blah buck buck. He changed the little status on my sheet from "Very experienced" to "little experience", as in, where it should have been in the first place. And then he bribed me to drive off the hill with a cookie. So that was fine with me. Then I had an OT hour with a first hour girl and boy , boy driving, and he was NOT a good turner, it was easier to just close your eyes. Silly me, I fell asleep sitting up. The hour flew by, though.

I drove home, me and my mom went to the mall. When I started I had 40 dollars. I bought a purse for my doll, I know, I've got issues, but it was so cute. Then a purchase or so at CVS. A soft sweatshirt, because I've always wanted to. Other soft clothes, and I bought steve a present. Grand Theft Auto- San Andreas. Becuase he loves it, and broke his. Why? Well, who doesn't like getting a present? If the only time you doing something nice for someone is holidays and their birthday, what does that say about you, you're so formal. I saw something he would like, so I'm going to wrap it and let him open it on a regular day.

I had class, we learned allllll about drunk driving. Jacob gave me a cigarette, I felt special.  I really need to get my own so bad. However, I think I'm gonna get a pack of Marlboro 100's instead of Reds like I originally thought. I just like the taste and the feeling better. Cool. I speak smoke. Which is funny, since I'm still a pretty nonpicky, lowmaintence smoker. I have preferences, of course, but I'll really take whatever you hand me.

Steve goes to the lake with josh tomarrow. I will see him saturday, we will be going horsebackriding. And ziplining. That really creeped up on me. Bet my life I'll be shaking by the time I'm actually standing next to a horse. Too tall for my liking. That's why I don't like the ocean. Never know when a ******* whale's gonna swallow you whole. A horse almost bit alex's finger off as a kid. And ziplining? Hopefully I'll be able to get into the moment, and the height, instead of getting all freaked out. I don't like open ledges, that's my only problem with heights. If I'm properly strapped in, hell, dangle me over a cliff if you want, but not if I am not with a safety belt and harness.

For some reason, I have the taste of the medicine I took as a child stuck in my mouth. It isn't actually there, but I'm remembering the taste. It was not Amoxacillin, I am allergic. I took Prednisone in the hospital, it was yucky. This **** was pink though, and cherry flavored. That was the only way I'd take it, every night, for two straight years. Sometimes I'd get barbie stickers, little things like that. From when I was about 6 to 8. When I was taken off it, I seriously just sung at the top of my lungs, all day. I was like a little opera in a bag back then. It was an antiinflammatory though, I believe. I think it was so I didn't get another infection in my kidneys. I don't actually know. I do remember taking a much stronger tiny white pill though, when I got right out of the hospital. We tried taking it in pill and in liquid. Mornings and nights, but I could barely manage mornings. They were tiny, but the minute they passed my throat I would puke it all right back up, four days out of five. We went through so much of that stuff. We were finally just like, no, no more, let me get sick, pleeease. I wasn't a sickly kid or anything, but I spent a lot of time in the hospital, getting those things done on my belly that pregnant women get. With the jelly? And getting all sterilized and poked. It mostly ended after I had surgery to fix my tubeys, which were pointed sideways when they should have been pointing up, the ones that lead out of your kidneys. I've got minor scars on one now. No biggy, really. I was barely scared, when it happened, but boy, was I ripshit. The whole week I was there in the hospital. Apparently what I had was kinda rare (cool, right?), so they had a doctor or two, several nurses, and a group of interns in for my surgery. And whenever I pushed the service button (looking for pudding and coloring books, most of the time), a flurry of people in white coats arrived.

Funniest part of my hospital stay was probably the next morning. I was starved cause I hadn't eaten, my mother brought me two trays of food, I ate the entire trays, and promptly threw it allllll up, all over the floor. Apparently, no body told my doctor of this phenomenon though, because at about 2 AM he came into work and brought me lemon jello, and went home before anyone else came in to check on me. So when I woke up in the morning puking something yellow and watery, too badly to be able to explain coherently, everybody was flipping the f out. Funny ****, I thought. My biggest concern the entire week, was making sure my little brother and my dad went to Mcdonald's. It was very important, because I wanted a little toy Furby. It was absolutely important.

I'm talking so much because it's really dark in every room but this one and I think maybe if I just wait it out, you know, for the next four hours, maybe I'll make it to morning without looking into the darkness and being more scared than I am presently. It's wigging me out, like I said, the resperidone is not working for me. But I will keep waiting, two weeks, just two weeks to kick in.

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