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chaz

May 30, 2014 - 6 comments

so yeah I did the tough dvd workout, my weights.  I felt better physically.  I threw in 3 loads of laundry, I ate breakfast, I dusted a little and cleaned the kitchen and put in another request for the stove.

some ppl stay in the building a long time others move in and the next month out.  this couple down the hall, next to the Indian guy, are moving.  they are older the guy is in a wheelchair.  there are two boys helping them.  I think one guy is like 30 or less the other guy is real young like 22 idk

when I pass the younger one in the hall on the way to laundry, he aint look at me really, I think he look almost exactly like Chaz, my H dealer.  he really do.  but im not sure.  and Chaz usually was loping about and not working really like this boy.  this boy smelled really strongly of sweat.  it smelled good it made me desire him

when I passed him a different time I wanted to see if it was Chaz.  I was scared to look.  I was going into the laundry room.  and when I looked at him, just askance I did not meet his eye I felt too shy or scared it would be Chaz I noticed he was looking at me also.  but we did not make direct eye contact.  but I felt him checking me and then I desired him even more.

I look horrible, im wearing huge big long shorts and a ripped and torn lavender tee which is also too big and a million years old

I look dreadful.  I haven't showered yet.

I am going to clean up the apartment a little more and deal with the clean laundry.  I washed the bed sheets too cuz I sweat so much at night.  glamorous

then after I vacuum and get done here I am going to go out even if it is only to pick up my contact lenses.  they are in.  I have to get out a little

the more I stay here I just feel like I am being dragged down

I have a lot of misplaced and floating anxiety

I was thinking ... I mean I was thinking that moving out of state even to Tucson would be very difficult for me right now.  I could do it.  I want to do it.  But it will be very hard on me.  then I thought, what if I move to Tucson to get away from the catastrophic earthquake coming and then the earth shifts on its axis and we all die instantaneously

these are the thoughts I have.

at least I can see the humor in it

right?

I need a haircut.

Alfredo is here to fix the stove.

love,

Meegy

Comments
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by jugglin, May 30, 2014
I typed a response when internet shut down...dammit.
You make me smile.  Catastrophic earthquake?  We are so much alike that when I get to thinking, I go ALL out.  I currently think I am dying of a mysterious illness.  Seriously.  So, thank you cuz I am laughing with u and not at you.
Woohoo for Alfredo!
xoxoxo

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by meegWpaw, May 30, 2014
your not dying, baby.

love you talk soon.
meej

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by dirtydirk, May 30, 2014
I find myself being  pessimistic more than I should,  but *** optimism id rather be surprised that something turned out well then always having myself let down!! Maybe its a addict thing idk......I got a pile of dishes id rather not be doing right now 2 , I was hoping I could  go go gadget them ******* clean.... but yet they still sit there !!!   PPL b like yayyyy its fri but weekends don't mean spit 2 me n e more either.....what 2 do what 2 do......!!!

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by Heather8448, May 30, 2014
Hey ladye move to fl would be fun this city sux tho I wanna move but my sponsor said its my impulse to run and to be still!
i will for now

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by meegWpaw, May 30, 2014
hi Heather, Jake ... ya man ... I hear ya both ... I am feeling ok right now my apartment is as clean as a whistle!   idk Jake i'd say I would clean yours but I am plum out of energy, dude

im not sure i'd fit in there in fla, Heather but ty for the invite!  ya you should stay put

sure is nice to see ppl around ty for stopping by

ima blow this taco stand and do some errands.

ill be bak!

Meeg

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by ariley13, May 30, 2014
Yay for being productive Meegy! I'm sorry about the no students and no job thing. That really *****. Maybe a change of scenery would do you good. It's something to think about anyways. A fresh start in a new and exciting place. The options are endless girl. I hope you have a nice evening. Take it easy, you deserve it! :)

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