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Stressful Day

Aug 05, 2009 - 3 comments
Tags:

chemo

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Hope

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Allergies

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Life

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stress

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Asthma

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Eating

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cough

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The flu



I haven't made a journal entry in some time.  Sometimes when I feel really bad I just don't want to talk to anyone, not even a journal and other times when I feel a little better I am trying to catch up with my life hench no time for jounal writing.

Today was particularly stressful because one of our pups is causing me more stress than my disease itself.  I'm afraid she is too much for me to handle.  Greg and I discussed letting our next door neighbors adopt her and I cried as we discussed it but at the same time I felt a relief just considering it.  At least I know she would be loved (they have been trying to steal her since we got her) lol  but I know she would be in theri bed with them and probably happier than here with me where it's boring.  Our other puppy is so good and will even take naps with me.  She is no problem at all.  I feel guilty even thinking about getting rid of her.  But being next door I could see her...unless they moved.  We don't know what to do.

Also, my cough I have had since I had pneumonia three months ago is still hanging on.  It has become so loud it hurts my own ears when I cough.  The allergist called today and I have no food allergies which is good.  But I have to go to a pulmonologist now because of my cough.  The pneumonia is cleared up, has been for months and we ruled out asthma and the ENT said there is nothing in my throat and the gastro did another EDG a while back, only a hyatal hernia, which we have known about.  So, something is causing this cough and we don't know what.  I think everyone is so used to me coughing that they barely notice it unless I happen to be sitting next to them and bust their ear drum out.  lol  I am so very tired of coughing and need to find an answer.

Oh and I had to get off the chemo because I got pneumonia and the flu both at the same time.  My ANA had gone down a bit while on it but had already started coming back up even before I stopped the chemo.  So it wasn't doing much but making me more weak and sick anyway.

I am eating healthy and am losing baout 2 lbs. a week.  I am down 24 lbs. since I got out of the hosptial the last time in January.  Losing it slowly, I hope means it will stay off.

One day at a time...Sometimes one moment at a time...But at this moment I AM OK.


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471161 tn?1317190950
by Joni686, Aug 05, 2009
Is this really my life or am I having a really bad dream?  If I had to run to save my life it would probably kill me trying.  My blood pressure was 150/98 and my pulse was 122 just blow drying my hair today.  My chest was tight and I had thoughts of being back in the hospital.  Ok I am done complaining.  It's best to do it here than to voice it and upset those that love me.


434278 tn?1324706225
by karajo, Aug 05, 2009
Hey girl, sorry to hear that you are feeling so bad.  What a terrible flare!  My BP and pulse do the same thing when I'm having a really bad day.  Everything is such a struggle when you are that sick.  

Are you on antibiotic for your cough.  Have they checked to see if the lupus is affecting the linning of your lungs or heart?

Question - when you are having a flare, do you have sharp jabbing pains in your flank area?

Thankful to know you.

Praying for you my dear, Kara

471161 tn?1317190950
by Joni686, Aug 06, 2009
Thanks girl.  My ankles are hurting a lot lately and right now as I sit on the couch I have warm house shoes on and my feet feel like ice inside of them.  They are cold from the inside out.  My BP and pulse have been ok today.  One of the dogs was at the groomer so the other one laid around and chewed on a bone and was quiet.  I was glad.

No I am not on any antibiotic right now.  When I had pneumonia they put me on 1000 mg. of Amoxicillian a day plus a  Z pack without taking me off chemo and I didn't did better.  Then they did the same thing again while stopping the chemo.  Then they gave me something else (an antibiotic) I can't remember the name of right now because it wasn't all gone.  Now it's been months and I have had an ultrasound and xrays of my lungs and they found scare tissue but they say the pneumonia cleared up and my lungs are clear.  But I have this cough that has really become part of my life, same as breathing, I have gotten so used to it.  I even had the allergist test me for asthma, well she thought it might be but it's not.  She said to wait two weeks and see if it goes away and if not go to the pulmonologist.  That's what I need to do now.  And I am starting to kind of worry because the cough is so very deep and hard that it hurts Gregs ears and my own everytime I cough which is a lot.  I hope it is not something new.  Greg heard that the cough from pneumonia takes sometimes months to get over.  I hope that's all it is but it doesn't seem to be getting better.  It was for a while but now it's just different and loud and hurts.

Yes, I have pain in my flank area almost all the time.  Especially if I am standing in the kitchen say making coffee, just standing there hurts so bad.  But right now sitting here on the couch I have so much pain in that area that I have to constantly move around.  Do you?  I think I remember you saying you do.

How are you overall?  Do you ever take pain medicine?  A lot of people do but I try not to.  I can't remember the last time I did but I have some here if I need them and that is comforting sometimes just to know.  This is a painful disease.


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