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I choose to believe that

Aug 08, 2009 - 0 comments
Tags:

site malfunctions

,

Etnies

,

work shoes

,

clothes

,

Ambien

,

headaching

,

unrestful sleep

,

Insomnia

,

Crying

,

Remember When- Allen Jackson

,

masochistical

,

neighbor's house

,

puppy

,

barbecue

,

hamburgers

,

hotdogs

,

chicken



This was the night I truly did try to fill this in. However, it would not let me. I gave it my all. And it shut me down. I'm so pathetic. I couldn't actually tell you what happened today. I may have bought new Etnies. For work, white ones, boy ones, that are too big but quite comfy. I feel silly in such white shoes. I also got some clothes, a few shirts and a sweatshirt. I may have spent some time laying on the couch. Steve may have been here, or I may have been at his house.

I can tell you that I tried to be responsible, and I went to bed very early, probably around eleven or twelve. However ambien let me down. I could not close my eyes without the same head aching. It didn't constantly ache, just when I close my eyes. Like it used to. I woke up a ridiculous amount of times during the night. I just felt so hopeless. It was three in the morning and I was so desperate to be well rested for once and I just couldn't do it.

I've been extra teary. Especially at night. While waiting to get tired at all (I usually just give up. I still get loopy, I don't get tired), the littlest thing makes me just burst over with tears. I feel so hormonal. Remember When- Allen Jackson. Never fails to make me very sad and maybe tear a little, but I'm full out sobbing now. Every time. Even if I put it on repeat and just listen to it over and over. Which saying now sounds offly masochistical...but I guess it makes more sense late at night. I know I didn't mention it yesterday or tomarrow,  but I've been doing this all weekend. Just crying over everything and you know? I will probably be at it Monday night too.

Oh, we went to the neighbor's house. They have a new puppy, and had a barbecue. They're nice, the puppie's cute. I really hate hamburgers. But I hate hotdogs more, and nobody ever makes anything else. Or chicken. I pretty much don't like chicken either. (There are exceptions of course, to all rules)

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