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Jun 27, 2014 - 0 comments

things are really getting better slowly but surly they are hitting tons of meetings and they really help even if all i do is listen right now it just feels good to be in that company had a really good session with holly yesterday told her of my addict brain wanting to take some pills to dawns in two weeks telling me "no one will know just do it then you can stop" yea i maybe able to stop after that but just the part of doing it will make me feel terrible just awful i feel so accountable to so many people now cuz they all know what I'm dealing with my hubs son mom dad they will be heart broken if i relapse i don't want to anyone especially myself i know people relapse when in recovery but thats not a free ticket for me to use i used to look at it like that before in the past but thats not what its all about i am understanding addiction a little better now this forum is really REALLY helpful to me the people on here have helped me so much its crazy and i am so grateful for all of them i definitely couldn't of done it without the help of all of them i am feeling good today right now and i will not use today thats for sure tomorrow thats another day i learned to take it one day at a time i have to stay away from cindy lu no fb contact no texts no nothing its hard but doable i have no choice no choice at all this is my life MY LIFE the only one it get

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